


Self Love and Sweet Songs

by OdetoEccentricity



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Personas (Persona Series), Angst, Anxious Yosuke, Cats, Cats???, Dancing, Drunk Texting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, Idol Souji, Idols, Jealousy, Lost ambitions, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mild Language, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Please help him., Slow Burn, Souji is a little shit, Suicidal Thoughts, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Warnings will be tagged as necessary, Yall can take my platonic i love yous from my cold dead hands, Yosuke is convinced nobody likes him., Yosuke is sad a lot, sad boy hours, self love, strained family relations, wrong numbers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OdetoEccentricity/pseuds/OdetoEccentricity
Summary: After a self deprecating venting session gone wrong, Yosuke "Junes Prince" Hanamura finds himself accidentally messaging a complete stranger who seems to be the only one who understands his chronic loneliness. In a stranger he finds solace from his everyday pain.Meanwhile an up and coming idol pair, Risette and Narukami, seem to be appearing everywhere he looks in his tiny town of Inaba. Yosuke can't help but despise them both, especially the silver haired idol who radiates confidence and joy; things that are not Yosukes to own.





	1. Drunken Messages

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for my friend, hope you like it!
> 
> This is teen and up for language really.
> 
> This is all for fun so please don't hate me for any grammatical issues! Thanks!

It had been, honest to god, a complete mistake.

Yosuke hadn’t been looking for pity, sympathy, or misplaced kindness that he didn’t deserve. But a few hours of cheap wine coolers and wallowing in self-pity later; he found himself typing in Konishi’s number in his phone.

Since he had gotten it (for work related business, of course) he had been to chicken to even put it into his contacts.

Liquid courage was apparently exactly what he needed.

Yosuke’s fingers worked on their own; words flowing from them so rapidly his tipsy brain could hardly register their meanings. Yosuke wasn’t the most popular guy; actually, most people despised him in the tiny town of Inaba. He handled it pretty well, he liked to believe. But as he typed out a message he knew he would never send; he could feel the loneliness swelling in his chest until he felt nauseous.

Here he was, laying on the floor of his room with more than a handful of empty wine cooler bottles haloing him; making fake messages to vent out his problems. He must have looked pretty fucking pitiful.

_Xxx-xxx-0324_   
_1:04 AM_

_He y saki i know its really fuckn late but i just was rly worried that uve been annyed w/ me lately, u didnt talk 2 me at work an like ur prety much the only one who talks 2 me in this town at al. I thnk i may be losing my mind??? or like maybe a panic attack comin on? im shakin pretty bad. I just care abotu u lots and ur the only person who doesn t fuckn h8 me. w/e i did im so sorry._

Trying to blink away the welling tears and drunkenness, the brunet attempted to read over his stream of consciousness. It wasn’t like it made sense, but it felt good to get some of the internal thoughts in his head out in front of him. Not good enough to be a relief, but close.

Chewing at his lip, he lifted his free hand and scrubbed at his damp eyes; simultaneously using his other to erase the message he had written.

Pressing the power button on his phone, the nineteen year old tossed it gently away and rolled to his side. He could feel the alcohol mixing with exhaustion, sleep slowly overtaking him.

Inhaling sharply to clear his nose and scrubbing at red rimmed eyes, Yosuke couldn’t help but fall asleep thinking of what his sixteen year old self would think if he could see himself now.

______________________

_2 New Messages_

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_1:30 AM_

_I’m sorry?_

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_1:35 AM_

_Are you alright?_

This was it.  
This was most certainly how Yosuke dies.  
He would just drop dead of embarrassment.

Blood running completely cold, he could feel every inch of his body start to feel like static. Panic flooded his form as he read over the screen once, twice, a dozen times; eyes landing on the ‘sent’ symbol next to his message from the night before. Which, really, he hardly remembered even making, but there it was. Plain as day, embarrassing as the day is long as well.

His floor suddenly felt incredibly cold, and though he had fallen asleep with no blankets he could feel his skin heating up in contrast to the cold panic pumping through his veins.

If Teddie hadn’t been in the room next to his, he would probably have screamed; he didn’t want to wake his younger brother and have to face an interrogation. Yosuke couldn’t believe he had accidentally sent the message that was never meant to see the light of day.

_She had even responded._

_Xxx-xxx-0324_   
_9:45 AM_

_SAKI-SENPAI OH MY GD PLEAS IGNOR THAT I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND U THAT._

_Xxx-xxx-0324_   
_9:45 AM_

_dont say youre sorry holy shit no IM sorry you didnt do anythig wrong. this is on me, i was rly drunk and that sounds bad but it was the alchol i SWEAR._

He knew he was digging himself a deeper grave, between his unreadable shorthand and rambling Yosuke knew Saki probably thought he was insane. That was the last thing he needed, for the only person other than his mom to show him some kind of tolerance to think he was some raging, insane drunk; and a self deprecating one at that.

He reread the conversation nearly twenty times before relenting; he knew Saki was scheduled at Junes right now, so he would have to wait for an extended amount of time before he would know if he had royally fucked up his chances of even having a single friend in Inaba. Sure, there was Chie and Yukiko, who he had known in high school; but times where they would talk to him were far and few inbetween.

Hoping the action would get the feelings back in his limbs, Yosuke stood and began to gather the remnants of his night drinking. All of the panic had nearly made him forget about the pounding in his skull from his hangover, but now that he had no other distraction; he could feel it full force.

Taking the bottles into his arms he went to leave his room and venture into the kitchen to sneak them into the bag his family used for recycling.

Until his phone trilled from its place on the floor.

 _Huh, well, that was weird_.

With a small hint of hesitation, Yosuke approached his phone again, jumping when it binged once more; he carefully placed the bottles down on the low table he had stationed in his room. Picking up the phone, he saw two more messages had arrived.

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_9:54 AM_

_Oh, you’re okay. That’s good at least, I was worried my 1 AM mystery texter had done something reckless._

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_9:55 AM_

_I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. I don’t know a Saki-senpai_.

Yosuke blinked incredulously, then frantically looked about the cluttered table beside him before finding a scrap piece of paper.

_Saki’s number._

Scanning over it, he read it to himself then compared it with the number he had put in. Sure enough, he realized he had switched quite a few of the digits in his drunken state.

He hadn’t messaged Saki at all, but someone he didn’t even know; a completely stranger.

Yosuke couldn’t tell if he was relieved or possibly more horrified.

_Xxx-xxx-0324_   
_10:02 AM_

_Shit im sorry i got kinda off my rockr drunk last nite. “liquid courage” an all that i guess. Srry._

He expected that would be the end of that, maybe he could take a breather and try to forget the crisis he had just managed to avert. Instead, before he could even place his phone down, it dinged.

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_10:03_

_Seemed like pretty rough stuff...would you like to speak about it?_

A feeling of astonishment stopped Yosuke in his tracks, this random number wanted to talk to him about his _FEELINGS?_

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_10:04_

_If you would like an impartial listener, of course. I’m pretty used to listening._

_Xxx-xxx-0324_   
_10:04_

_Y would i wanna do tht?????_

_Xxx-xxx-0324_   
_10:04_

_Y would a strangr wanna lsten to that either????_

He felt a bit bad after he responded, recognizing his harsh tone towards truly: a kind offer. Still, he felt unsettled; it wasn’t normal to drunk text someone and for them to offer you emotional support in return.

There was a lull after that, which Yosuke took to quickly tidy up his mess and jump in the shower. His dad had scheduled him in a few hours, and hangover or not he had to go. Even if it meant seeing Saki, which the idea alone made his hands shake with anxiety. Maybe she would be back to talking to him, smiling at him, making him feel like he wasn’t a total waste of oxygen. It had only been a day or two since she had seemed to be more quiet, and he HADN’T sent her an embarrassing text that would surely make her hate him.

Returning to his room, vaguely registering the sounds of Teddie stirring across the hall, Yosuke pulled on a pair of boxers.

He stood in front of the mirror shoved against one wall and leaned close, checking his eyes for any sign of redness. Luckily, it wasn't all that noticeable.

To think he had fallen asleep crying.

The thought nearly saddened him enough to distract him from the sound of his phone going off once more.

“Have mercy on me,” he whispered, rubbing his face before padding over to his phone and opening the message.

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_10:45_

_I suppose I wish I could have had the same for myself._

_Xxx-xxx-1654_   
_11:01_

_The offer stands, if you're so inclined._

A small bout of empathy shot through Yosuke as he read the response. Then he noticed, of course, how silly that was and dismissed it from his mind. He couldn’t comprehend how well worded this stranger was, and with his luck it was probably some eighty-year old man.

It was better to let it go, Yosuke realized as he placed his phone down and turned to his dresser.

He really hoped he had washed his work clothes.


	2. Junes Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

 Junes was exactly the same as always; the polished floors squeaking under Yosuke's shabby red sneakers as he went back and forth: restocking displays, helping customers, and picking up more than a few messes. After years of working at the department store many of the activities it entailed had become second nature to the man, nothing and nobody could throw him off his rocker once he began working.

 

  Except for the fact that they had been playing the same damned playlist for nearly three hours on repeat.

 

 It hadn’t been that horrible while he had been working produce, the overhead speakers tended to cycle through it's normal Junes tune to whatever happened to be popular at the time. Yosuke had trained himself to tune it out, even if he couldn’t wear his favorite headphones while on the job. But then his dad had directly told him to assist in the technology area, where all of the music videos for said tunes were played on the dozens of TVs at all times.

 

  Yosuke exhaled through his nose, closing his eyes momentarily as if trying to blink away the drilling sounds. It wasn’t anything Yosuke was overly familiar with, some up and coming idol pair that had become exceedingly popular in Yasoinaba as of late.

 

   The pair had no particular title, just their names: Risette and Narukami. It wasn’t as though Yosuke couldn't see the appeal, they were both undeniably _beautiful._ One look at them and it was obvious why they had grown so popular.

 

  Risette: with her peppy personality and doe eyes, mixed with her voice that caught the attention of anyone who heard it and kept it; she was the perfect idol material. That didn’t stop her from radiating an aura of confidence and strength, strong enough to make anyone weak in the knees.

 

  Then there was Narukami; where Risette was all colors and fun, Narukami was monochromatic and mysterious. Incredibly talented as well; even Yosuke could recognize that. He was all hip movements and fashionable looks; complicated dance moves and long withstanding notes. He radiated the same confidence as Risette, but somehow less peppy and more on the range of being godlike. Inhuman. Completely unbefitting of a grown man who had silver hair and a bowl cut.

 

  They were talented; but watching the recordings of their music videos, Yosuke could feel the bile rising in his throat.

 

   _That could have been him._

_______________

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_2:04 PM_

_Is Saki-senpai perhaps a girlfriend?_

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_2:07 PM_

_My friend said the best way to make amends with an upset girlfriend is to pamper her._

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_2:09 PM_

_I mean, even I think pampering is nice. So I’m sure your girlfriend would enjoy it as well._

 Yosuke threaded his hand into his hair and pulled slightly. Digging his nails into his scalp as he anxiously kicked at the table he was stationed at in the Junes food court. He hated having to spend his break at work, but considering he'd be back on the clock in less than an hour, he didn’t have many other options.

 

Not that he could focus on that considering the amount of heat focusing in on his face.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_4:35 PM_

_OMG NO SH UT UP I AM N OT DATNF SAKI SENPI._

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_4:37 PM_

_Heheh._

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_4:38 PM_

_DOnT fuckN “HEHEH” ME DUDE_

 

 Why was he even responding? From what he could guess it was most definitely a guy he had texted, didn’t he have anything better to do?

 

 “What's got you looking like you need to shit a brick, Hanamura?”

 

 Yosuke nearly jumped out of his skin, instinctively slamming his phone face down on the table. Towering over his table stood a young woman with cropped brown hair, round eyes blinking at him.

 

   Relaxing a bit, he brought his phone to his chest, “Jesus, Chie...you startled me…” His pointer finger fidgeted with the volume button on his phone, he hardly registered the slight bouncing of his right leg, “I'm...at work right now, kind of busy--what do you need?”

 

  “Oh, yeah,” Chie began, motioning to the bare table between them; “you look SO busy, _forgive me_ for interrupting.” Voice laced with sarcasm, Yosuke averted her gaze. Even if she was shorter than the man, Chie had a presence to her that made Yosuke nervous.

 

 The girl plopped down in the empty seat across from him, “so,” she began, “who were you texting? You looked red---” she paused suddenly and leaned in a bit, lowering her voice, “ _Yosuke_ , were you texting a _girl_ at _work?”_ Chie's voice raised a bit, humor infusing with it and replacing the malice instantly.

 

  Heat immediately zeroed in on Yosukes face once again; chest tightening in embarrassment. “I wasn't! Geez Chie, gimme a break.” he sighed, “it’s just some wrong number.”

 

 “Some crazy wrong number, getting such a reaction out of you.”

 

  “They’re just annoying. Probably have nothing better to do. Speaking of which, don't you as well?”

 

  He had meant it as an observation, Chie and himself had never been especially good friends. When it left his lips, however, he couldn’t help but flinch; he had made it sound like she was an annoyance.

 

  Chie shrugged, shaking the bag on her arm absently, “Yukiko’s favorite headband snapped yesterday, so I ran and got her a new one as a gift.” Her face broke out in a proud grin, “the one I found is red and has light pink rose silhouettes on it, it’ll look so good on her.” Yosuke hummed in agreement, Yukiko Amagi looked nice in everything. Chie and her seemed to be as close as they had been in highschool. Perhaps even more so; since the ravenette had convinced the boisterous girl to help her at the ever proper Amagi Inn.

 

  “Why don’t you block them?” Chie questioned suddenly, making Yosuke blink in confusion.

 

 “What?”

 

 “The number,” She clarified, “just block it, you don’t _have_ to respond.”

 

Yosuke paused, tapping at the table anxiously; leg still bouncing. She was right. He glanced at his phone, looking at the recent conversations.

 

_Mom...dad...Teddie...and the mystery number._

 

 That was it, the man registered that those were the only numbers he even had in his phone; a lump formed in his throat.

 

 “Yeah...I probably will. I thought they’d just leave me alone.” He confessed, though it felt like he was convincing himself more than the girl sitting across from him.

 

  There was a pregnant pause between them, as if the brunette was waiting for him to open his phone and delete the number right in front of her. When he didn't, she shrugged once again and stood.

 

  Pushing in her chair, she fixed her grip on her bag; “I gotta run, man. Don't be such a damn stranger sometimes.” Surprise settled in Yosuke's chest, but he couldn’t bring himself to respond. Chie smacked his back good-naturedly as she walked off, apparently unaffected by the lack of response.

 

  Yosuke exhaled through his nose, muscles relaxing. His eyes focused on the mystery number at the top of his messages, hesitating for a moment, then turned his screen off and shoved it into his pocket.

 

‘Dont be a stranger?’ Yosuke thought drearily.

 

   _He'd just be a bother._

_______________

 

Saki was returning from her break when Yosuke was preparing to continue his shift. The door to the break room opened, Yosuke's hands were in the process of retying his Junes apron when their eyes met.

 

  Silence filled the otherwise empty break room; Saki frozen by the door, eyes locked with Yosuke's. Eventually she shuffled in, quickly heading to her employee locker as Yosuke finished knotting his apron.

 

 “H...Hey, Saki-senpai!” Yosuke waved sheepishly, “It’s been a little bit!” His cheeks warmed, recalling the night before. _Sorry I almost sent you the most embarrassing text of my life by the way!_

 

  The wavy haired girl jumped a bit as she retrieved her own apron, “you're right, I've been so busy lately, sorry Hana-chan.”

 

 “Oh!” Had she just been busy? Maybe he had been overthinking things, as he always did; “then would you like...want to uh--do something after work?” His voice wavered a bit, “o-only if you want to of course!”

 

  Saki kept her back to him, “I have the morning shift tomorrow, I really need to get home after work.” she responded shortly, tying her apron tightly into a bow. Yosuke was glad her back was to him, he preferred that she hadn't seen the way he had deflated at her answer.

 

  “Right, right. Sorry, yeah…” he stuttered out, looking down at the floors.

 

  “I'll talk to you later, ‘kay Hana-chan?” Turning on her heel she gave him an encouraging smile, though one that didn’t show her teeth and seemed almost pained. Yosuke opened his mouth to respond, but the shorter woman was already speed walking out of the break room. Gone as fast as she had appeared.

 

   Uncertainty settled into his chest, disappointment clenching at his throat. What time was it? How much longer did he have of his shift? There was something wrong with Saki, and it was a problem with _him._ Yosuke was suddenly convinced that if he ran into Saki again out on the floor, he'd probably become sick.

 

 In his pocket, his text message alert went off twice. Begrudgingly, he took it out and swiped it open.

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_5:34 PM_

_I apologize, I got busy. I hope you don't mistake my teasing for maliciousness._

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_5:34 PM_

_You seem like the type of person who gets easily flustered, my closest friend is the opposite. You'll have to forgive me for having a bit of fun._

  Oh yeah, like he hadn't heard that before. Yosuke knew he was easy to fluster, and somehow reading that the wrong number could already tell that; it turned his disappointment to anger.

_‘Just block it’_ Chie's voice echoed in his mind.

 

  His thumb hovered over the ‘block’ option next to the number, right as it dinged one more time.

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_5:37 PM_

_I hope your day has been better, mystery texter. My phone is normally with me, if you need to talk._

 

‘ _Block it’_

 Yosuke froze, chewing at his bottom lip. Peeking at the clock on the wall, he moved his finger from the block button and relaxed his tense shoulders. The anger in his chest deteriorating just as quickly as it had swelled.

 Hesitantly, he relented.

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_5:38 PM_

_Srsly dude, I dont think I h8 anythin more thn working._

**_Sent._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 baby!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, whoo boy Archive was giving me one heck of a time with the formatting this time around!


	3. Late Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes family can be our greatest comfort, other times we just need a moment alone.

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:07 PM_

_So, how did you get into music?_

 

  The message came a few days after Yosuke's impulsive reply in the breakroom of Junes, which had been followed by regular messages between the man and the mystery number. Both of them went back and forth during the days that followed, but kept things strictly to (mostly one-sided on Yosukes part) mental support and venting about work. To say the least, Yosuke was surprised when he opened the latest message.

 

   He shuffled his feet anxiously under the kotatsu currently keeping him warm, rubbing one sock covered foot against the other until the friction warmed them enough to distract him from the weighted question. It was easy to hide his expression in the dark living room, the space only illuminated by the television that was playing. Sitting diagonal to him under the kotatsu was Teddie, completely taken with the program.

 

   Ever since Teddie had been adopted by Yosuke’s parents (the blond continuously tried to convince Yosuke he was from France, but considering his distinct lack of an accent; he assumed it had been from somewhere in the States), the younger male had been overly attached to the older one. Their relationship tended to be a bit brash and the blond male contrasted greatly from Yosuke. Between his piercing blue eyes, sun-colored hair, and extroverted personality; they were complete opposites and if it had been anyone else Yosuke would have despised the guy.

 

Ironically, however, Teddie was likely the only person Yosuke could sit in comfortable silence with. He hardly ever felt pushed by Teddie to try and say something to fill it, and Yosuke appreciated it. Even if he never mentioned it.

 

   As much as he loved his brother, Yosuke couldn't help but cringe at the videos he happened to be watching. His phone was broadcasting to the TV some series of videos made by a company-owned channel featuring different stars.

 

   This one happened to feature Narukami and Risette, playing some variant of a “who's more likely” party game, a newer video.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:10 PM_

_what?? that was rand om where d that co me from??_

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:12 PM_

_Oh, I hope that didn't tread on any sensitive territory._

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:12 PM_

_It's just that a few days ago you were complaining about the music at your work. The way you sounded was...knowledgeable. I simply assumed._

 

 Yosuke snorted a bit, tucking his chin and mouth into his palm as he read the messages. Despite the discomfort that settled on his shoulders, the man couldn’t keep the hint of amusement he felt reading the ridiculous way his mystery number texted from sparking in his chest.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:14 PM_

_U cant here how i sounded d ovr text u dork_

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:14 PM_

_I like music. :)_

 

Yosuke bit back a snicker.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:15 PM_

_how u can go back an fort h betwen textin ljke a 80 yr old 2 a 4 year old ill never under stand_

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:17 PM_

_I find my attention to detail, or lack thereof, to be endearing. Sentence variety is integral to an engaging piece of writing._

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:18 PM_

_there u go again_

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:18 PM_

_:))))_

 

There was an audible laugh that filled the dim room, making Yosuke lift his head curiously. The copper haired female idol laughed cheerfully as the interviewer continued some joke Yosuke had missed. After a pause a new question was asked.

 

 “Who’s the most flexible, of you two?” The man across from the two idols questioned, Yosuke found himself counting the vertical grey stripes on the mans crisp black suit and attempting to ignore the grin on his face that seemed so overdone that it came off as creepy.

 

  Risette, with her perfectly decorated nails and cutesy ensemble of clothing immediately perked up; not hesitating for a second before lifting up the sign in her hand pasted with the face of her monochromatic partner. She used her free hand to twist at her hair, also decorated with delicate pink barrettes to match her pink nails; Yosuke could almost see the giggles brewing at her lips.

 

 The man beside her seemed a bit more thoughtful; silver eyes flickering between the two signs positioned on his lap. Yosuke noticed Narukami's hair was swept to the side, just enough to be noticeable; and the black of his turtleneck (which would be probably nerdy on anybody else) worked nicely with the grey of his (probably designer) jacket. Gradually, he lifted up the sign plastered with his own face; glancing at the girls answer beside him.

 

  Right after seeing it, the man erupted into uncontrollable, hearty laughter. Risette joined him, smacking the taller man’s shoulder as he made an effort to hide his guffawing by ducking behind her chair. Never would have Yosuke expected to hear such a genuine laugh from a man like Narukami. Yosuke clenched his fist instinctively, hard enough for his blunt nails to leave small crescents in his palm. They seemed so carefree, living the music dream. A foul taste filled his mouth as he went back to his phone.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:23 PM_

_idk man i thimk u shuld @ least have sm better 2 call me than “mystry txter” b4 askin stuff like that_

 

 Yosuke had no idea what expression must have crossed his face, possibly a look of hope that the mystery number would leave it be, or a look of discontent from the spite he felt towards the overly cheery pair on T.V; but Teddie quickly picked up on it.

 

 “Yosuke, are you okay? You're making a beary weird face!” The blond inquired, pausing his nightly snacking to look at his brother.

 

  Cringing, a groan of displeasure came from deep in Yosuke's throat; “Ted, _please_ stop with the bear puns.”

 

   When Teddie had come to live with the Hanamuras, their dad had become keen on getting the new family member into the “Junes Swing” as he called it. Trying to find what he could be good at was difficult, and at some point Yosuke had jokingly proposed the idea of Teddie being the “Junes Mascot” and had even taken the opportunity to sketch out a design; some intentionally dumb looking bear suit with big dilated eyes. Teddie had _loved_ it, however, and begged for it to be made. Ever since then, Teddie had made it his duty to torture Yosuke with bear puns.

 

 “But you were!” Teddie insisted, looking a bit slighted; only for a second however, as his eyes landed on Yosukes phone. “Are you texting someone, Yosuke?” he gasped, “Yosuke, are you scoring?!”

 

  Yosuke choked on his spit, instinctively going to smack at his brother at the suggestion, “no! Shut up! I'm not, it’s just a wrong number!”

 

“But you've been texting for a while…” He countered, blocking the light whacks with his palms.

 

“Yeah, what about it?” Yosuke furrowed his brows, watching the concerned expression cross the blonds face. His blue eyes became worried, as worried as a carefree person such as Teddie could get.

 

 The younger male ate a snack quickly before responding, “mom always told us not to talk to strangers and stuff” he clarified, offering Yosuke a biscuit stick; he quickly waved it off.

 

   “I'm an adult, Ted! I'm not even, like, doing anything.” He felt his chest tighten, was he seriously getting embarrassed because of _Teddie?_ “It's just---” The words wouldn't come to him, “I just uh, like messing with them.”

 

  “That doesn't sound like you, messing with people like that seems bar _bear_ ic!”

 

  Yosuke groaned, this time out of more than just annoyance; “Teddie, the _puns_!”

 

“I'm just saying, Yosuke!”

 

 Yosuke’s chest tightened, a trapped feeling settling over his shoulder. If there was one thing he hated, it was feeling like he had to explain himself; especially when he knew he couldn't. The hum of the T.V became drilling as he held his phone tighter.

 

 Standing, he slipped his phone into his back pocket; Teddie looks alarmed immediately, “where are you going? You're not mad, are you Yosuke?”

 

  “What?” There was a feeling of guilt that hit him, “no, I'm not. I just--need air. To think and shit.” Teddie gave him an unconvinced look, “I'm not mad! I promise, save some biscuits for me.”

 

  “If you say so…”

_______________

 

  Cold air nipped at Yosuke’s skin, he forgot how cold Inaba could get at night near the Samegawa Flood Plain. Still, the air was crisp and fresh; and even if Yosuke hated the country and greatly preferred the city, the air at least let him clear his mind.

 

  Pacing back and forth until his racing mind slowed, Yosuke reached into his pocket and slipped out his phone.

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:27 PM_

_Why not exchange names then? A name IS better than “mystery texter.” I agree._

 

 His foot tapped anxiously, Teddie’s words echoing in his mind. Sure, Yosuke had grown up being told not to talk to strangers; but he was grown now. And Mystery Number didn't seem pushy, but the message before him made him shuffle uncomfortably.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:38 PM_

_dont like take thjs personaly but i dont rly think im comfrtable wjth that_

 

The reply was almost immediate.

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:39 PM_

_Oh. I'm sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I should have expected that._

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:40 PM_

_Why don’t we make fake names then? So I still don’t have to call you Mystery Texter._

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:40 PM_

_u mean like code nams?? Or personas or sm?_

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:41 PM_

_Well. In a way I suppose. Just names we call each other. Call it what you may._

 

Yeah, yeah that was a good idea. Yosuke nodded to himself, feeling relief wash over him. That way he could continue to talk to Mystery Number, but without the feeling that the ghost of his (still alive) mother was breathing down his neck. He quickly sent a confirmation text back.

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:43 PM_

_I quite like the name Izanagi._

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:43 PM_

_Ill chose the name like, jiraiya._

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_10:45 PM_

_Ah! Like the folklore character? Izanagi is a Japanese deity, actually. I like it. Jiraiya and Izanagi. They're both nice picks, huh?_

 

There was no way in hell Yosuke was going to clarify that he had gotten the name because as a child he had gotten obsessed with some English song about a bullfrog or something of the likes, but had been too small to properly say the name “Jeremiah.” He had pranced around singing “Jiraiya” long enough to become embarrassed by it at some point when it turned into his mom teasing him about it.

 

A folklore character worked.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_10:46 PM_

_ok mr deity, sounds good 2 me 2_

 

Nearby in the bushes something shuffled, startling Yosuke out of his daze. Glancing down, he squinted at the group of shrubbery; noticing something moving about inside. Two glassy eyes peered up at him, and a small meow was sent his way.

 

 Yosuke paused, staring at the creature blankly; he had never been exceptionally good with cats. Still, he felt a strange urge to reach out for it. Tucking his phone away, he lowered himself and reached out and clicked his tongue.

 

 “Hey there, little dude.” He pursed his lips and tried to call it, succeeding in getting it to emerge a bit. It was grown, with long feathery hair spotted in different shades of browns, oranges, and black, all splattered on a milky white base. It’s green eyes were blown wide, ears back as it hesitantly and shakily peeked out. What did one do with a stray cat? Yosuke didn't have anything to tempt it with, no food to give it.

 

Yosuke paused, there _was_ a corner store nearby; he always took his wallet with him when he left the house as well.

 

 “Stay right there, I'll be right back. Swear.” He whispered, trying not to startle the weary cat. Carefully he stood, backing up far enough away before jogging off.

_______________

 

 “Hey, here kitty kitty!” now in possession of a small plastic bag, Yosuke returned to the flood plain; once again scouring the area for the stray. Retrieving the can of tuna from his bag, he peeled back the cover and continued to look. Sure, cats were really meant to eat cat food; but cats in the movies like tuna so it couldn’t be _that_ different.

 

 After a bit of looking, the same meow erupted from another group of bushes. Yosuke stealthily set the open can by said bush and gave it a bit of room, sitting down on the dirt. Once more, albeit slowly, the same stray reemerged; sniffing the can cautiously before wiggling over and taking to eating.

 

  It didn't look like it was badly taken care of, Yosuke had no idea what a cats healthy weight was; but it looked alert and not skin and bones. Still, it was hungry; taking massive bites of the tuna gratefully.

 

 It didn’t take long for it to finish, sitting back to clean it’s paws, satisfied. Attentively, Yosuke reached his hand out; bringing it towards the feline at a snail's pace. When he got close enough the cat flinched, blinking its eyes before rapidly sniffing the palm of his hand. There was a pause, as if the cat was deciding, before it leaned its fluffy head into his hand.

 

  “Holy shit” Yosuke breathed, gently rubbing circles on the cats head; slipping behind its ear and scratching there with the pads of his fingers. The cat nearly contorted itself to lean into the feeling, and he had to push back a bit on it to keep it from falling over.

 

  He lost track of how long he spent petting the stray, feeling his worries leaking out from his palms as his shoulders relaxed and his breathing became more calm than it had been all night. Soon he was rubbing the cats sides with both hands; the cat soaking up the affection. His mind wandered, _‘Izanagi_ ’, huh? What had Yosuke read online? If he remembered correctly the cat likely was considered a calico; and all calicos were female, right?

 

  “Nagi.” It slipped out like it had been a breath, just an exhale; “Nagi would be cute.” He concurred, the cat tucked its head into his elbow as he continued to pet it. Its body vibrated with deafening purrs, filling Yosuke with a sense of comfort.

 

   _Nagi's a perfect name._

 

 After a bit more time, Yosuke realized how long he must have been gone. Nagi was now lounging on her side, front claws extending and retracting as if kneading the air.

 

 “Shit, I gotta go.” He gave Nagi a few more good pets before standing, the cat followed suit; eyes focusing on him as he collected the empty can and tossed it back into his plastic bag. Yosuke glanced at the feline, leaning over to talk level with her; “I'll come back and bring you more stuff, deal?” Nagi gave him a slow blink in return, which he took for a yes.

 

Leaving the flood plain, Yosuke bounced on his heels and tossed a look backwards; making sure there was no cat following him. He saw nothing, so he pulled out his phone to check the time.

 

  _Xxx-xxx-1654_

_11:54 PM_

_I should head to bed. Don't stay up too late, okay?_

 

_Xxx-xxx-1654_

_11:54 PM_

_Good night, Jiraiya._

 

Yosuke stared at the message for a bit, high on the feeling of the night; warm from the feeling of Nagi's appreciation. He looked up to the starlit sky, closing his eyes. Peace was rare, and he knew by tomorrow morning he'd be frazzled and stressed like always, the same thing again and again.

 

_Xxx-xxx-0324_

_12:00 PM_

_no promises. izanagi._

 

But right now; right now wasn’t all too bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as the "I like to make silly reasons why certain things exist in this au" chapter. 
> 
> This chapter took a bit longer than the other two before it, sorry! But it's longer than the first two! 
> 
> Next chapter will be something a little different!
> 
> Once again sorry for any mistakes/errors in spelling and grammar!


	4. Another Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."
> 
> -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay! 
> 
> I got really busy recently but I'm back in business now! 
> 
> A little something different this time. ;)

  “Just one more take and we'll wrap up!” 

 

 Souji hardly heard the announcement over the sound of desperate swallowing in his ears as he downed half of his water bottle. The studio around him was abuzz with makeup artists and backup dancers moving about in some controlled chaos. Taking a towel to dab his forehead of perspiration (careful to not wipe away any of his make up); he exhaled to try and rid himself of his heavy breathing.

 

  He made eye contact with Rise nearby, who gave him a bouncy smile and cheerful peace sign before motioning to his sleeve as a hint to roll it back up. He did. Rise could always pick out tiny mistakes in their idol regalia; always the first one to point out a loose button or sloppy tie.

 

  They had been recording for hours, all in preparation for a new video; and by now Souji was about over having to dance for a bunch of cameras. 

 

 There was the signal for the two idols to get back on the floor, and the two jogged over to their places; both aware of their next parts. All they had to do was finish this last segment, Rise and Souji dancing back to back; mirroring each others moves. 

 

 Souji wondered if Rise was as over it as he was at this point. 

 

  The dance started fine, Souji facing the camera; occasionally catching glimpses of Rise dancing with her back to his. They didn't need to sing; that would be added later; all they had to do was make sure the dance was done right, and keep up with the beats they had to count in their heads.

 

  It was when Souji was dancing that he tended to let his mind wander; thinking of whatever concerned him at the time. Sometimes it was what he would have for dinner, or what Rise may want to do that day; but as he danced this time his mind focused on one thing.

 

_ Jiraiya.  _

 

 Souji knew it was silly, worrying about some random person from god knows where. But from that first day when he had answered that (honestly, kinda pitiful) message, Souji felt some need to be there for the guy. It sure didn't seem like many people in the guys life were willing to do so. Even now, as they messaged regularly; Souji knew very little about him. He worked at some store, he had some issues with a girl named Saki, and he was easy to embarrass. He also liked some strange American bands and---

 

  “Narukami watch your feet!”

 

And he was falling.

 

 His left ankle erupted into hot stabs of pain as he tumbled, hitting the ground with a loud thud. Before landing he instinctively covered his face with his arms, grimacing when his elbows connected with the hard ground. His body froze for a moment as around him people panicked.

 

 “Souji, holy cow!” A feminine voice called out to him, hands reaching out to help him push himself to a sitting position. Rise was in his face in an instant, pushing back his bangs and turning his head in her hands to check for damage, “what was that about? Did you not see the  _ wire _ there??”

 

  The director, who had jogged over, patted his back a bit roughly; “you alright there kid? That was a hell of a slam!” the man fixed his dyed blue hair and gave a comforting grin.

 

  “I’m okay---” Souji muttered, feeling the words instinctively slip out; Rise squinted her eyes, “I'm fine, let's do another take; I just got distracted.” Though the copper haired girl didn’t seem convinced, she stood and helped the taller man to his feet. 

 

 Immediately a wave of pain went up his leg; his fist clenched on reflex. Well, that was probably not a good sign. Biting his cheek, he pursed his lips and puffed out a calming breath. The boisterous older man at his side, with his dyed blue hair and piercings; threw him a worried look.

 

 “You're sure you're alright, kid?”

 

 Souji felt the eyes of the entire studio on him; all the makeup artists, backup dancers, his teammate, settling down in all too familiar weight. There was a tightness that flashed through his throat, and a spark of a long lost feeling in his chest forced him to put the weight down on his ankle. Some semblance of a smile crossed his face, acknowledging the question politely. 

 

  “I'm alright. Really, Mr. Mishina, let's go through the track one more time. I'll get it this time.”

 

_______________

 

 Sure as shit, Souji was feeling absolutely  _ not fine _ after running through the dance a total of  _ four  _ more times; real shocking.

 

  Now, the silver haired man had never had his ankles bashed in by a baseball bat; but he was pretty convinced the pain in his foot was probably a contender with it pain wise. He sat in one of the closest chairs nearby, slumped to the side in exhaustion; most of the inhabitants of the studio left him be, letting him relax. Souji was by no means an unathletic man, but dancing with a painful ankle wasn't exactly a cakewalk for even the best.

 

 Lifting his head and propping his chin on his knuckles, he made eye contact with Rise; heading his way. She was obviously tired, but still maintained the little bounce in her step that was so remarkably  _ Rise.  _

 

 “Hey Mr. Big Klutz. Mishina said we can head back to the dressing room.” She placed a hand on her hip and brought her free hand to poke at his forehead; “Geez Souji, you look like you've been through hell! You're not going to die on me are you?” 

 

 Stormy grey eyes focused on the petite, sharp finger positioned at his brow, “you changed your nail design to cats, I'm fully healed.” He remarked playfully. Receiving a flick to the forehead, Souji chuckled as Rise let out her own giggle.

 

  “Don't play around you big dork! Go back to the dressing rooms and take a nap.”

 “Are you coming back too?”

 

The girl twirled her hair in thought, “Eventually. I don't feel too drained, I need to discuss things with the crew. And I need to find Kanji eventually; I had the best costume idea.”

 

“That sounds scary.” Another flick to the head and Souji let out a goofy grin, nearly forgetting about the throbbing in his foot. 

 

  “Just scoot your boot back there before I kick it.” Her hand ruffled his silver locks playfully before she turned and skipped off. Souji steeled himself as he watched her leave, he stood slowly and began to walk towards the dressing rooms; putting in every effort to not limp.

 

  The moment he reached the dressing rooms the idol collapsed onto the closest lounge chair; the room wasn't overly large; and technically this was Rise's dressing room, but it had been closer. She would probably be expecting him there, after knowing each other for so long; the two didn't exactly have many boundaries.

 

  Besides, he had left his phone in there.

 

 Contorting his spine a bit, he reached blindly for the phone he remembered discarding on the table near the lounge chair. His middle finger grazed the side of it and he used it to bat it closer into his palm, pushing himself onto his elbows. 

 

_ 4 New Messages _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 11:43 AM _

 

_ Fml dude my bro got me fckin sic. my ass is gonna have to call in bcuz id probably like sneeze on a bnana or sm. _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 12:21 PM _

 

_ Fucx ths sucs ass please im dyin _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 12:32 PM _

 

_ Izanagi dude bro partnr dude  _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 12:54 PM _

 

_Nvm my ma broght me soup im_ _thrivng now_

 

An amused smile crossed Souji's face, he exhaled through his nose in a type of laugh; absently propping his throbbing ankle on one of the pillows accompanying him on the couch.

 

_ Izanagi _

_  2:17 PM _

 

_  I believe I may have rolled my ankle.  _

 

 The response came almost instantly, Souji surmised Jiraiya's phone must have been in his hand.

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:18 PM _

 

_  ksjfjdsijdjzja you did fckin WHATT _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:18 PM _

 

_ HOW??????????????? _

 

_ Izanagi _

_ 2:19 PM _

 

_ I got distracted while dancing and may have done a face plant?  _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:21 PM _

 

_ ofc you would how the hel do u get distractd while dancng? _

 

He paused for a second, weighed his options; then continued. 

 

_ Izanagi  _

_ 2:23 PM _

 

_ Too busy thinking of you ;). _

 

  Souji could practically imagine the explosion on the other side of the phone, Jiraiya was obviously a pretty anxious guy; but he seemed to be able to brush off a joke  _ so-so _ . The silver haired idol considered that exposure was probably the best type of help for the poor guy.

 

There wasn’t an answer for a minute or so, then his phone began to sing with its notification tune; one after the other.

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:25 PM _

 

_ KefJDJFKDKSD????? _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:25 PM _

 

_  Kdjghdjdjsidjss asShOE _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:25 PM _

 

_ ASSHOLE U MADR MW CHOKE ON MY SPIT.  _

 

__  Despite not expecting such a reaction, Souji realized quickly this had been the perfect result; he hid his face in his elbow to muffle the peels of laughter that shook his shoulders. When he shuffled a bit to reposition, his ankle shifted a bit against the pillow, and the flinch brought him back to his senses.

 

_ Izanagi _

_ 2:26 PM _

 

_  Please Jiraiya I'm fatally injured. And besides, you set yourself up for that one. You can't blame me for taking the opportunity presented :)! _

 

_ Jiraiya _

_ 2:27 PM _

 

_ Hhgfddsssdff………..ok fine mybe i did but ur stil an ass 4 taking me ff guard _

 

 There was the click of the dressing room door, making Souji peek his head over the arm of the couch. Across the room the door opened, a tall lanky blond man entering; arms nearly spilling with sewing supplies and hanging outfits lining both arms. Pinched between his shoulder and ear was the man's phone, Souji couldn't help but wonder if his piercings made it uncomfortable to keep it there.

 

 Kanji was the idols personal designer, a talented young tailor; the business ran in the family. Despite his harsh look, piercings, dyed hair and all; he was the gentlest guy Souji knew. Even if sometimes his costumes were kind of itchy and tight.

 

  “Yeah, ma. Love you too. I said---I'll make sure to eat!” The punkish man chatted into the phone, still not noticing the grey eyes peering at him over the arm of the chair. 

 

 Once he hung up the call and tucked the phone away, Souji rested his chin on the armrest; neck extending a bit awkwardly.

 

  “Howdy.”

 “JEESU--YAAOH--FUCK YOU.” The shriek that escaped the larger man made the lounging idol snicker; watching as Kanji nearly threw everything he was holding in his arms directly into the air. His body went limp from shock, leaning up against the wall to catch his breath.

 

 Souji laughed looking at him, “I was just saying hi.” He spoke through his own amusement, it took Kanji a few minutes to recover; for a second the grey haired man wondered if he was going to have a stroke. Having a stroke at nineteen because your friend said howdy; that seemed very  _ Kanji _ somehow.

 

 “I thought you guys were still recordin’ and shit!” Kanji sputtered, gradually leaving his support wall to begin placing the supplies and outfits down, “I saw Rise out there!”

  “Ah, yeah.” Souji hummed, “she was looking for you.” 

 

 “She’s not still pissed about the costume mishap from last week, right?”

 

  Another laugh tumbled from Soujis’ lips, recalling the incident; Rise had tried to do a split during a recording (in clothes obviously not made for such stress). The sound of the tearing cloth had been enough to nearly knock Souji off his feet into hysterics; Rise didn't like to get laughed at, even if it was her best friend.

 

 “No, no. She didn’t blame you anyway.” Kanji seemed distracted as he organized and hung up the clothes, “She was more pissed at me for laughing.”

 

 All he got was a hum in reply, the blond across the room ran his hands through his hair; Souji could feel the stress rolling off him in waves. His ankle throbbing sank to the back of his mind again at the realization.

 

  “Kanji, come sit down” 

 

  The comment caught the designers attention, he looked up befuddled; “huh?” He quickly turned back to the clothing racks, “I'd love to senpai but if Rise needs me I gotta get this shit organized an’ then---”

  “Kanji.” 

 

  Both of them locked eyes, Souji silently patting the armrest and giving him a serious gaze; challenging him to deny the request again. Begrudgingly, Kanji exhaled and shuffled over, going to sit beside him. Souji tucked his legs close to himself, flinching. 

 

 Kanji's eyes drifted to the phone still snugly fit in the others relatively calloused hands; “have you been textin’ that wrong number still, senpai?”

 

  Kanji had been the second one to know about Jiraiya, Rise being the first of course. He had been weary, but he respected Soujis judgement, and Souji mutually appreciated Kanji's trust. 

 

 “His nickname is Jiraiya and he is very sweet and if he was a cat I would give him tons of cat treats.”

 

“Naoto would kill you if they found out.” 

 

  Souji inhaled through his teeth, grimacing. 

 

 “Yeah well, we’re not gonna tell Naoto.” 

 

  Naoto was not someone to be trifled with, a known detective, they had taken the offer of being the idol teams bodyguard for travel opportunities; they were strict and everyone respected them. Of course, anyone who knew them personally were aware they were something of a parental figure in a way; despite being younger than Souji. Though, this also included the protective side of a “helicopter parent friend.” Souji didn’t like to admit how much they could intimidate him. 

 

   Kanji fidgeted, “Ma called again.” he muttered, gaining Souji’s full attention; “she says she misses me. I mean, I miss her too but--” he motioned aimlessly, “‘m also livin’ the “dream” you know? I'm doin’ shit I love and nobody judges me an’ it's great but---”

 

 Souji looked at him after a pause, “it’s alright to feel homesick, you know.” he reassured him, “Even if you're having a good time.”

 

Silence settled between them for a second, Kanji cracked his knuckles; every one he could, hunching his back before looking Souji’s way.

 

  “Do you ever get homesick, senpai?”

 

 A thousand words pricked at Soujis tongue, the question igniting sparks and a million memories all at once, ten million things Souji wouldn’t---couldn’t say. He felt like candle wax suddenly,  _ home,  _ the word was the flame; but he was used to melting.

  His eyes drifted, “no. Not really.”  _ he was used to it. _

 

  “As expected from senpai,” A comforted grin spread across the younger mans face, “nothin’ bothers you!”

 

  Souji looked at the case of his phone, suddenly needing to know  _ exactly _ how many whiskers the cats on it collectively had. Before he could get past twenty the door suddenly opened again, a copper haired girl bounding in with a pep in obviously exhausted feet.

 

 Playfully Souji slung his legs over Kanji's lap as she approached, fully taking up the entire couch; “Seats taken, sorry.” he cooed slyly.

 

  “Coming in hot~!” Rise sang, plopping down clumsily onto Souji’s unprotected stomach.  He grunted roughly, feeling the wind being taken out of him. The girl shuffled about, getting her heels off after a bit of struggle, “I finally found you Kanji!” 

 

 The two others began to chat, something about a new costume idea; Souji vaguely registered the sound of his phone going off as he shifted Rise’s weight more onto his lap instead of his gut. She gave him a sneaky smirk, obviously putting all of her weight on him to make it more difficult to accomplish.

 

  “Oooh, Souji~ Are you still talking to your boyfriend?” she chirped, putting her elbows her partner’s chest; turning away from Kanji completely. 

 

  “He's not my boyfriend,” Rise had always been the type to tease, ever since they were children, “he’s kind of like a scared cat, who also  _ really _ wants attention.”

 

 “You have  _ got _ to stop comparing people to cats.” Rise chided.

 

  “I can't help that you're a big feral cat with attitude issues.” 

_  Bwap! _ Souji laughed good naturedly, holding the back of his head where she smacked it. Though he knew she was used to his teasing, there was still satisfaction in her instinctive reactions;  _ home. _

 

__ Kanji spoke up after a few moments of listening to the other two bicker.

 

 “What happened to your ankle, senpai?”

  They lulled instantly, Rise and Souji caught in some tug of war; the man fending off the assaulting manicured nails from his face. A cold panic instantly settled in the grey haired man's chest.

 

 “What ankle?” 

 

  Rise let out a slighted noise of shock as Souji instinctively went to escape; a quick blow in the sternum with her elbow took the wind from him once more. 

 

 Her voice was laced with worry, “what's wrong with his ankle?” she demanded, Souji tucked his face into his elbow and groaned.

 

 Somehow, he hadn’t realized how severe his ankle looked. When Kanji held it up Rise took it upon herself to try and cuff his pants away from it; resulting in a sharp pain going up his leg when her knuckle pressed against it. In comparison to the other, his injured ankle was very visibly larger; swollen, and red, and puffy. There didn’t seem to be any abrasions, but with his two friends examining his foot while he laid on the couch like jello; Souji felt a deep sense of embarrassment settle in his body.

 

  “You got this when you fell today, didn’t you?” Rise inquired, voice a strange concoction of accusation, worry, and something else Souji was too distracted to decipher, “and you continued to dance for, like, another _ hour _ !”

 

  “I didn't want to cause trouble.” 

 

 “You ain't causin’ trouble just by being hurt, senpai!” Kanji assured, “you would have only caused  _ yourself _ trouble if you had continued to hide it!”

 

 Souji scratched his cheek, _ I mean, I just thought it would heal,  _ the man wasn't exactly one for making a big deal out of something like a painful ankle.

 

  Rise seemed strangely quiet, she prodded at the tender flesh; Souji yelped again. 

 

  “You need to get this checked out.” 

 

 “Rise---please---no---”

 

   Brown eyes met grey, a fire burning in the former; a plea in the latter.

 

_ “I’m getting Naoto.”  _

_______________

 

   Now, Souji wasn’t a man to dislike things by nature; but  _ doctors _ and anything related to them were  _ naturally _ a dislike for him. An incident as a kid where he had snapped his arm and Rises mother had been the one to take him to the emergency room had built his natural hate for them. When the doctor and nurses had tormented him for hours about whether the cute little girl with the pink bows in her hair was his  _ “little girlfriend” _ Souji had resolved doctors were annoying and he didn't like small talk. 

 

  So it was a given that he'd have a major sour outlook on the situation as he sat in the dressing room, an on-site doctor examining his foot. 

 

 She looked harmless enough, a sweet looking young woman; completely unaware of Souji’s expression of neutral displeasure. Kanji had left, replaced by a certain short blue haired detective. In the back of his head he could relatively register their nagging.

 

  “Well,” The doctor interrupted, a gentle smile pulling at her red lips, “It’s definitely sprained.” she confirmed, standing to her full height. 

 

 “Is it severe?” Naoto questioned, arms crossed protectively.

 

  The older woman seemed to consider, “no, no it’s not terrible. But it's incredibly strained, the ligaments have definitely been damaged.”

 

  Rise at Souji’s side poked his ribs and gave him a pointed glare, he exhaled and leaned into her presence for solace. His mind wandered to the phone currently tucked inside her jacket (since Souji's pants didn’t have pockets large enough to hide it) he  _ really _ wanted to message Jiraiya.

 

   “I would recommend staying off of it as much as possible, Mr. Narukami” Ah, this woman only knew him by his stage name. Somehow that was comforting, but the prognosis was the opposite, “ice it and keep it compressed, I would also recommend a splint.” 

 

 “How am I supposed to dance with a splint on my foot?” Souji questioned, flabbergasted. 

 

 “Dancing will most definitely make it worse. You just may not be able to for a bit.” 

 

_ Yeah, okay;  _ Souji thought bitterly,  _ it's not like I'm an idol or anything.  _

 

 After a bit more discussion the doctor took her leave, Souji rubbed at his brow and went to stand up; suddenly feeling thirsty and exhausted. Naoto quickly stepped into his path.

 

  “Absolutely not,” They deadpanned, “You're resting, senpai. Please forgive me, but it’s for the best.”

 

 “I have to get up sometime---”

 

  “And Rise and I will help you when you do, but you need rest now. Rise and I will get you everything you need.” Reluctantly the man plopped back down, defeated. 

 

  Naoto grabbed their things, glancing at Rise; who gave a bouncy smile and waved in dismissal. The detective/bodyguard nodded and seemed to understand, going on ahead out the door. 

 

  Beside him a hand with delicate cat designed nails squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, the younger idol slipped his phone from her jacket and snuck it into his hand. 

 

_ “Just take it easy to please Naoto. _ ” Rise requested in a hushed voice,  _ “We'll discuss our plans later, I think everyone is becoming a little stressed; it may be time for a break.”  _

 

_   A break _ . The idea sounded nice when Souji considered it. A break to relax with his friends, to spend time with his  _ best  _ friend. Time to be just Souji and Rise, not Narukami and Risette. 

 

 The two idols hugged for a moment, “Love you, I'll bring back snacks.” Rise gave him a gentle smile, one that meant she felt guilty, “just relax.”

 

  “Love you,” he paused, “it's not your fault I didn’t tell you about my ankle.” 

 

 “Just relax.” she repeated, with that she quickly stood and bounced out the door after Naoto. 

 

  Once alone Souji exhaled, flipping the phone in his hand absently. With the throbbing in his ankle accompanying his thoughts, he closed his eyes.

 

  He thought of Kanj’is question, of Rise's presence:  _ Naoto, Kanji, dancing, Rise, lights, songs, Jiraiya.  _

 

_  A break.  _

 

_  One word. _

 

_  Home. _

_  What was ‘home’? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rise and Souji are my personal favorite platonic duo, I hope you enjoyed the intro to their side!
> 
> Apologies for so little Yosuke this time around, he'll be back soon!
> 
> (Also for those who have played Persona 2 a certain director in this chapter may seem veeeeeryyy familiar!)
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks, I appreciate every single one!


	5. We're Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I swear I'm not dead; just very busy!! This is a short chapter but is VERY important to the story, I'm aiming to post the next chapter as soon as possible.
> 
> I'm planning to try and post this one and the next as close as I can.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Warning: little bit of angst sprinkled here and there!)

   ** _Jiraiya_ **

_9:45 PM_

_Izaagi dude r u up_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_9:49 PM_

_Of course. When have I ever gone to bed before 12?_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:50 PM_

_O thnk fu ck_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_9:52 PM_

_Are you alright? Is something going on?_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_9:52 PM_

_Is it about Saki-senpai?_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:53 PM_

_no!!!!_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:53 PM_

_wel sor ta_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:54 PM_

_but its abiut u rly_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_9:55 PM_

_About me?_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:56 PM_

_ya its lik._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:57 PM_

_u askd me how i got in2 musi c a whi le ago_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:57 PM_

_an I avoidd it liek a cowardf_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_9:58 PM_

_An now ur hurt an i keepthinkng abut oit_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:00 PM_

_Jiraiya...are you drunk?_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:02 PM_

_heh jus lik when i furst txted u_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:03 PM_

_turns out im 2 much of a cowrd untl i get sum alcahl in me_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:04 PM_

_Jiraiya, please don’t feel like you have to tell me something personal just because you're drunk and I was dumb enough to injure myself._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:05 PM_

_i knw i dont HAVE 2 but_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:05 PM_

_but i rly WANT 2_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:07 PM_

_an don call urself dumb thts y i wanna tell u anywy cuz ur so smart an stuff an u give prty good advce an its liek im takng advntge of u!!!!!_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:08 PM_

_Jiraiya...you know that's not the case. When you first texted me, I readily offered to be an impartial listener._

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:09 PM_

_I guess I'm sort of bad at the impartial part now, though._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:13 PM_

_i wnted 2 be a music prodcer._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:13 PM_

_lord izngi u cant imgine how bad i wnted it._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:14 PM_

_im not tht smart but i even got scolarsips and stuf and wrked SO hard to major in music_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:15 PM_

_but whn I ws gonna go my dad_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:15 PM_

_he guiltd me so bad to stay_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:16 PM_

_i work undr him an he just tore it apart_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:16 PM_

_said i had a stable job and futur here an tht leavin wuld be trning my back on my ma and bro an him_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:17 PM_

_an i fucking bought it_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:18 PM_

_Oh...I'm so sorry._

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:19 PM_

_I know sorry doesn't do anything to help, but I understand the feeling of having a strained family._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:19 PM_

_rly?_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:21 PM_

_i meann it's not ljk i h8 my dad!! hes my dad i love him an al!!_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:22 PM_

_but i just h8 myself 4 llettin go so easily_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

10:23 PM

_i gave up b4 I culd even try_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:26_

_It doesn't have to be like that you know. You just need connections. You could still get into music._

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:26 PM_

_I could_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:27 PM_

_I mean I'm sure I know someone who could help, I know a lot of people._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:29 PM_

_i thnk its 2 late 4 that_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:30 PM_

_besidrs my dad wuld h8 me 4 it an my ma needs me_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:32 PM_

_Family isn’t the end-all-be-all, Jiraiya. I could help, you could record some music and share it around to people you know and I could spread it around too._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:33 PM_

_liek id get anywhre tryna spread music arund this lil town where nothin fckin happnes_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:34 PM_

_an i coudnt have u do that u alrdy do so much_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:35 PM_

_thas y I wanted 2 tell u cuz ur the only prson who listens_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:36 PM_

_Of course I would listen, I care about you._

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:37 PM_

_We're friends aren’t we?_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:37 PM_

_of course!!!!!!!!!_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:38 PM_

_ur the biggest bro ive ever tlked 2 an of course ur my friend ur like my partnr by now lirk a team!_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:39 PM_

_screw the whle “strnger danger” shit_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:40 PM_

_all uve ever done us help me and comfrt me_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:41 PM_

_an i never sid thnks._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:42 PM_

_so thank u_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:43 PM_

_Thank YOU for telling me about this._

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:45 PM_

_next ti me u gotta rely on me k??_

 

**_Jiraiya_ **

_10:46 PM_

_its not fair if im the only 1 rlying on u_

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:48 PM_

_You're right._

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:49 PM_

_I'll do my very best. I'm not...used to that._

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_10:51 PM_

_Thank you, Jiraiya._

 

_______________

 

**_Izanagi_ **

_11:15 PM_

_I nearly forgot, I've heard some teas can help with hangovers._


	6. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo boy is this a long chapter, I kinda got lost in the sauce while writing this and had a lot planned for this chapter.
> 
> TW for depictions of a panic attack, I'm not sure if I need a warning for this but I didn't want to take any chances!

  Yosuke, quite commonly, wished he could magically learn how to let things not bother him. To just one day _wake up_ and suddenly all the things that weighed on his shoulders would melt away as if they never existed. That, however, was a dream so far from Yosuke’s grasp that he couldn’t even begin to convince himself that one day it could come true.

 

   Things _did_ bother him, and it was never one thing at one time; there was always dozens of things that plagued his mind to keep it racing. One worry would blend into the next, and it was difficult to determine where one issue ended and another began.

 

 Like how he still hadn’t seen Saki since that day where she had turned him down in the breakroom, or the new worry that saddled itself on his shoulders; the fact that Izanagi hadn’t messaged him once since he had drunkenly texted him _again_ a few nights back.

 

  Yosuke tried to reason with himself, he had been sick recently (he still had a pretty bad sinus headache) and had only come in today because his father really needed the extra help since two employees had called out with the flu as well. It was possible his work schedule and Saki's just weren’t lining up. Sure, maybe she had an issue with him, but Saki wasn’t _heartless._ Maybe it was coincidence.

 

  With Izanagi, however, the boy couldn’t find any explanation strong enough to fight back the pit that formed in his stomach whenever he thought of him. They messaged regularly by now, Izanagi wasn’t the type to just disappear…

 

   Was he?

 

 As he organized a display of seasonings, Yosuke felt his focus drift from his work in the lonely aisle to Saki for a moment, then to Izanagi.

 

   _Had he pushed too far?_

 

_He had wanted Izanagi to rely on him. Had that been too much?_

 

_Hadn’t Izanagi been the one to ask if they were friends?_

 

He had tried to message Izanagi, of course, small messages to try and start a conversation; but each one was met with nothing. Even if it took him awhile, the man _always_ replied back; even apologizing for taking too long; but not this time.

 

  A noise nearby brought him out of his daze, something between a squeak and a grunt. The sheepish man looked up, eyes landing on a person he hadn’t noticed before.

 

 Not too far away a little girl was attempting to scale the shelves of the aisle. Her hair was a deep brown, tied back into two pigtails with cutesy pink ribbons. For a moment Yosuke recalled the pink barrettes that Risette idol liked to decorate her hair with.

 

 “Hey kid---” He tried to speak, though his voice came out strangled and scratchy; he hadn’t realized how dry his throat had become. Almost immediately the little girls foot lost it’s traction, and a terrified look shot through her round eyes.

 

   _Shit!_

 

 Yosuke hadn’t even realized he had moved, sprinting over to where the brunette was; he blindly opened his arms. The force of the girls body hitting him knocked his center of gravity clean off its axis, and the both of them tumbled down to the freshly cleaned floor. Packets of seasonings the girl had accidentally brought down with her scattered around them.

 

  The first thing the older man could register was how fast his heart was racing; adrenaline pumping through his veins. His arms were in a vice grip around the little girls tiny form, and she seemed almost frozen; unable to do anything but grasp at his arms.

 

 Vaguely around them he could hear the whispers of shoppers who had witnessed the scene; Yosuke pushed himself to a sitting position and placed his hands on the kids shoulders in order to get her to stand.

 

  “Are...Are you---okay?” He flinched a bit, the slam against the floor catching up to him as the adrenaline drained. The little girl in front of him simply stared, eyes wide and hands shaking.

 

  “I---um--I’m---” she sputtered out, struggling to get the words out; “mhm” resorting to nodding, she kept her eyes on Yosuke as he rubbed his sore neck.

 

  _Geez. How many people had seen him totally wipe out in the middle of a damn June_ s _aisle_?

 

 Someone approached quickly, making both of them snap their heads up; a coworker of Yosuke’s. She was a bit of an older woman, and Yosuke knew her as someone who generally didn’t give him problems (though that was because she normally avoided him).

 

  “Sweetie, are you okay?” Leaning down to look at the girl, the child quickly nodded a bit too forcefully to the woman. The workers gaze turned to Yosuke, still on the floor; “and you, Hanamura?”

 

 “I'm fine, really---”

 

 “M-Mister your elbows!” The girl with the pink bows exclaimed, her expression becoming something akin to horror. Yosuke furrowed his brows and raised his arm; sure enough there were massive streaks of raw and bleeding skin on both arms extending from his elbows down his forearms.

 

  Well that sucked ass.

 

   Suddenly aware that his elbows were _indeed_ stinging like all hell, Yosuke felt a short wave of nausea rush over him; the mix of adrenaline and basically skinning both his elbows made him feel green in the face for a moment.

 

   Though a wobbly smile, he pushed his bangs back; “I'm okay, really. Where's your parents? You shouldn’t wander far.” he inquired, though he was anticipating the heartbroken expression he got in return.

 

 “T-They--They're not here…” The answer shocked him, but before he could respond; the coworker helped him to his feet.

 

 “Go clean your elbows and get a drink, Hanamura. Your dad will probably want you to fill out an incident report.”

 

An incident report and his elbows were probably Yosuke's last current concern, “What about---?”

 

 “I'll handle the kid and the mess, go on.” She clarified, motioning for the little girl to follow her. After a small glance back at her lanky savior, the little girl and her pink bows followed the older worker out of the aisle.

 

  Begrudgingly, Yosuke headed back to the breakroom; which was luckily empty. He went to the corner where they kept their first aid kit and opened it, removing the necessary incident form paper and bandages. Finding a chair out of the way he began to patch himself up, mind racing at a hundred miles per hour yet thinking of nothing at the same time.

 

  The nineteen year old was pretty proud of how quick he was on his feet; working at Junes for years had taught him how to react quickly in order to save a falling can or two; or keep a display from falling over. But he hadn't ever used his speed to catch a whole kid. Poor thing probably didn't want to bother anyone by asking for help; he understood that sentiment.

 

  In the back of his head, there was a whisper of his own conscious; _what if people thought I was playing hero for attention?_

 

  He didn’t want people to think he had only caught the girl to seem like a hero and get praise (not that he really had gotten any) but then again, when he remembered how much the girl trembled in his arms when he caught her; it managed to trump his worries. Slipping his phone from his pocket, he glanced at it; still nothing from Izanagi. Was he becoming too clingy?

 

   Izanagi was always there to listen to him complain about one thing or another, he reminisced as he filled out the form in front of him; describing what had happened in detail. Yosuke _knew_ he asked a lot from him, but his texting partner always seemed so content to just listen and offer advice. Seemed to pleased to take any chance he got to tease or joke around.

 

  Once finished, Yosuke filed the filled out form away; absently extending his arm to feel the bandages patched across his elbows shift slightly. Shuffling over to the staff lockers in the room, he crouched down and opened his; taking out the small bottled water he brought with him to work when he knew he'd be working long hours.

 

  As he downed a good majority of it, he grimaced at the pain in his back he hadn’t noticed before. Landing clean on his backside hadn't done him any favors. Eyes scanning the other lockers absently as he wiped his lips, his eyes stopped abruptly at one locker left completely open.

 

  That was where Saki's locker was.

 

  It was completely empty.

 

   Confusion hit him. Sure, it may have been normal to take your things home after work; but usually you would close it when you left, and the lock that had been there everyday before was gone. Lockers were a bit of a free for all, so once you got one; you usually kept it.

 

  Yosuke's stomach felt heavy suddenly with dread, like a foreboding force was suddenly leering over him. That feeling telling him that there was something very off. Instantly he began to think: could he ask one of the other workers if they knew? _Would_ they know? Should he? His elbows ached, a small thought itched at the back of his head; mixing up his thoughts.

 

   _Did he want to know?_

 

With an exhale he put his nearly empty water away; he had to get through this shift. He couldn’t handle it right now, whatever the situation was. Between the new worry of being seen as an attention seeker for helping that girl, and the ever heavy trepidation that Izanagi would never respond; he already felt nauseous.

 

  _Keep it together Yosuke._ He thought, fixing the bandage on his arm and heading towards the door.

 

_Just keep it together._

 

______________________

 

   By now, the nineteen year old wasn’t sure why he even tried to take his bike to and from work. Sure it worked (“worked” was a loose term) on the way there when he first got on it, but after hours of sitting at the bike rack chained up; it was near impossible to get the wheels going again once he got off his shift. More often than not, Yosuke found himself having to walk home; walking alongside his barely rolling broken-ass bike.

 

  The sun was setting by the time he got off, and while he hated Inaba and its seemingly perpetual _nothingness_ , he could at least appreciate the fact that the sunsets were relatively pretty out in the country. With the oranges and pinks streaking the sky, paired with the breeze that swept across his cheeks and ruffled his brown locks; if the circumstances were different, maybe he would have liked Inaba.

 

  If he wasn’t so bored and lonely.

 

 If he had friends he could laugh with.

 

   _If he wasn't the Junes prince._

 

Passing by a small playground that bad been recently set up, a simple swing set and slide, he heard a voice call out to him.  

 

  “Mister, wait!” The soft, high voice cried; registering over the steady creaking of his bike. Brown eyes broke from the ground up to see a familiar child rushing towards him from her original place on the swings.

 

  The little girl with the pink bows.

 

 Crouching down as she approached instinctively, he watched as she slowed her sprint towards him and stopped a few feet away. Her demeanor changed once he turned his attention to her; shuffling her shoes and playing with something she was holding.

 

  “You're the man who---who saved me at Junes…” She muttered, bashfully looking away.   

 

   Yosuke wasn’t great with kids, kids were brutal; but this girl seemed as harmless as a flower.

 

 He put on a smile, “mhm, I'm glad you're okay,” she quickly nodded, a determined look crossing her face as if to confirm she was _indeed_ okay before becoming shy once more, “you really shouldn't climb shelves like that, you could have gotten hurt.”

 

“I...I didn’t wanna bother you.”

 

 “Ah--well, uh, that's why I'm there; isn't it?” Yosuke tried to reassure, pausing before quickly backtracking; “not that you would have bothered me!”

 

 The little girl fidgeted, looking guilty. Her eyebrows drew together, and she bit her lip; lord was she gonna cry? The last thing he needed was to make a kid cry.

 

 “What's your name?”

 

 Glancing up, the girl looked surprised at the question. Did he scare her? Maybe he had pushed too much; his interactions with Izanagi pricked at his mind. “ah, you don't have to te--”

 

 “M-My name is Nanako Dojima!” Yelping, the girl bowed her head quickly before holding out her hands, palms up; “a...and I wanted to give you these!” she exclaimed, presenting two rectangular pieces of paper; “for...for your elbows…”

 

   _Bandaids_. Yosuke’s heart squeezed, faintly through the thin paper covers he could make out what looked like cartoon cat faces on a pink background. Girly or not, Yosuke gratefully took the two bandaids and looked them over; making a large spectacle of holding them up to the leftover sunlight and closing one eye to look at them.

 

 “You like cats?”

 

 “They-they were all we had…”

 Yosuke went to open one, “I’ll put them on right now-”

 

 Nanako made a small gasp and quickly grabbed his hand, “but you already have big patches on right now! If you put them on, they'll just fall off!”

 

 That was a good point, he could peel off his current ones and stick them on; but Yosuke severely doubted the little bandages would be able to cover even one of his injuries. Closing them in his hand, Nanako moved her small palm away.

 

 “Then I'll just keep them for when I need them, deal?” The girl nodded, looking cheerfully satisfied; “thank you Nanako--”

 Before she could respond, another voice cut through their conversation.

 

  “Hanamura?” Jumping a bit, Yosuke turned to the source of the sweet yet curious voice. Nanako peered around him, looking surprised as well. His heart jumped into his throat.

 

  Yukiko Amagi stood a ways away, a slightly shocked expression on her face; dark eyes with long eyelashes wide, slim eyebrows turned up. Her crimson jacket and scarf seemed nearly blinding against her tame, stark black hair. Contrasting her hair was a dark red shiny headband; accented with delicate, light pink outlines of roses. Of course she was wearing what Chie had bought her, and of course it looked lovely on her.

 

  “A-Amagi!” Yosuke cried out, shellshocked. He quickly stood and shoved the bandaids into his back pocket. Nanako's eyes flickered between the two young adults.

 

 “Just Yukiko, please.” The fair skinned woman corrected, playing with the wrist strap of the red umbrella she was holding. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ Yosuke immediately felt out of his element, any confidence he had felt while talking to Nanako draining away instantly.

 

 Nanako stepped back, “I gotta get home...thank you again, Mr. Hanamura!” Yosuke looked back at her, wondering if he could send her a plea of help just by looking at her. _Please don't leave me, not with the famous Yukiko Amagi, please don't._

 

His words betrayed him, “be safe on your way home.” He sheepishly replied, putting up a hand as she waved; then sprinted off.

 

 Turning back, the male wished he could suddenly disappear as he met the gentle gaze of Yukiko. “It's been a long time,” she began; “Chie said she talked to you recently, ah, are you free?”

 

  _Tell her you have to be home right away._

 

“No, not-not at all...why?”

 

 Yukiko let out a soft exhale, something between a sigh and a laugh; and raised her leg at the knee to rub at her ankle behind her.

 

 “I'd love to chat, but I've been on my feet all day. Think we can sit?”

 

  How could he deny the famous Yukiko Amagi? He quickly nodded, looking around quickly and noticing a bench nearby. He motioned to it quickly, the ravenette cheerfully nodded.

 

 Once seated, she placed the red umbrella at her feet; “I've been cleaning all day, and wanted to take a walk...the T.V said it would rain; but I guess not.” her eyes moved to the sky as Yosuke positioned his bike against the back of the bench and sat down as well; stiff as a board.

 

 He looked up at the sky as well, noting the hints of blue and purple starting to mix with the pink and orange hues. It was nearly nighttime.

 

 “Chie hates cleaning, but she’s strong enough to carry the large things pretty easily.” Yukiko continued when Yosuke didn’t respond, “working at the inn is much more fun when she's there too.”

 

  _Say something you goof_. Yosuke internally shrieked at himself, awkwardly turning his head to the girl and pointing up at her accessory, “the headband she got you looks nice. She said it would.”

 

 Yukiko blinked at him, delicate fingers grazing the surface of the headband before a fond look broke out on her face, “I like it too, I swear if it weren't for Chie, I'd have no sense of fashion, she always buys new clothes for me since I'm always working.” The idea that Chie of all people was Yukiko’s source of fashion was incredibly ironic.

 

 She huffed, “between Konishi and her family leaving and having to get the rooms ready for the new guests, I've been working nonstop.” After a moment her cheeks turned a bit pink, “I’m complaining too much---”

 

 Yosuke didn’t hear the rest, his hearing suddenly blocking everything out as he replayed her words in his head. Suddenly a panic set in his chest, blood running cold.

 

“What about Saki leaving?”

 

 Yukiko lifted her head quickly to look at him, eyes widened. Her hand came up to her mouth, hiding it as her brows raised quickly. She kept quiet for a moment, as if the words wouldn't come to her; her expression turning one of confusion and pity.

 

 “She...didn't tell you?” The ravenette whispered, only throwing Yosuke into further confusion and worry; dread coursing through his veins. He shook his head, she put her hands together and nervously wrung them, “I assumed she...well I guess there's no harm now--”

 

 Yosuke dug his blunt nails into his knee as Yukiko looked at him, “Saki Konishi's family had to sell their liquor shop, and was staying at the Amagi inn recently. The business was bad, and they decided to move away from Inaba for the sake of themselves.” She hushed, delicate fingers pinching at a long lock of black hair; “she left around an hour ago by train, so I've been cleaning the inn for our next patrons. They're important and---I just, I had assumed she had told you.”

 

  The first thing that crossed Yosuke’s mind was _nothing_. Shock rendering him completely thoughtless, before the floodgates of thoughts suddenly opened and rattled his skull.

 

  _She had been staying at the inn, she had been getting ready to move._

 

_They had sold their store because they couldn’t maintain business, because of_ **_Junes_ ** _._

 

_She hadn’t told Yosuke at all, and didn't even say goodbye._

 

_He wasn't wanted._

 

Nausea hit him, doubts suddenly drowning out his surroundings. Sure, he was the Junes Prince, a dunce, clumsy, and unremarkable. But she had been his friend, hadn’t she? She had always been nice, if a bit polite. No matter what, she never said anything bad about Yosuke; and once when Yosuke had given her some dumb ring he had found that he thought she would like, she had gratefully taken it and worn it as a friendly gesture.

 

 Sure, she had been a bit strange lately, but up and disappearing while actively hiding it from him? Yosuke suddenly felt every flaw he could ever come up with about himself weigh on his entire being. Had she really hated him that much?

 

 Had he managed to delusion himself into thinking he was friends with someone who truthfully didn't want to be? To the point where they would disappear without a word?

 

Yosuke's thoughts snapped to focus suddenly, focusing on one thing.

 

  _Was that what happened with Izanagi too?_

 

_Was he unneeded by Izanagi as well?_

 

“I'm sorry, Hanamura; I had no idea you didn't know…” Yukiko reached out and patted his shoulder, “you look pale...are you---”

  A buzz came from Yosuke's pocket, adrenaline shot through him as he swiftly fumbled with his pocket to retrieve his phone and open it.

 

_Izanagi_

_6:43 PM_

_h el pp_

 

It was one word, but it almost immediately made Yosuke even more on edge. Yukiko gave him a curious look; but he didn’t even look at her.

 

_Jiraiya_

_6:44 PM_

_H OLy shi Iznaigi r u ok?????_

 

_Izanagi_

_6:45 PM_

_han ds shajking c annt txt._

 

 Worry for a completely different thing filled Yosuke; for the wellbeing of Izanagi. Something was severely wrong, he went to text back; but another message interrupted him. One that left him even more speechless.

 

  _Izanagi_

_6:46 PM_

_ca ll?_

 

Frazzled, the man looked at the girl by him; who looked incredibly confused herself. Yukiko stared silently for a moment, Yosuke attempted to find words; but he didn't need to.

 

“If you have to take that, it's fine. From your face it looks like an emergency, and I should head back home.” Yukiko assured him, standing up. Yosuke opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted, “oh! Tell me when Junes gets more of these headbands in stock, I think they're my new favorite.” with that she picked up her closed umbrella and waved, walking off.

 

 Baffled, Yosuke shook his head and looked back at his phone; rereading the one word message once, twice, a third time. _Call?_ He had been weary of even saying his name to Izanagi, had even come up with codenames; now Izanagi wanted to _call?_

 

One part of him said not to, that it would ruin everything. The illusion of mystery would be broken if he heard Izanagi’s voice; it was a line that couldn’t be crossed.

 

  But the bigger part of him worried so greatly whether Izanagi was hurt or not that he was pressing the call button before he had even realized he had done it.

 

  It rang a few times before the call was picked up, a hoarse voice rasping out a weak _“Hello?”_

 

  The voice was distinctly male, warm and deep; and Yosuke thought for a minute how nice it probably sounded normally. At the current moment, however, it was so tight and scratchy it made his chest hurt. There was a distinct panic in it, breaking through its weakness.

 

  “Izanagi, are you okay?” he asked quickly, brain going on autopilot, “What's wrong?”

 

_“I’m--sorry...it’s, just---I’m kind of,”_ a sharp inhale, followed by a few quick inhales and exhales; _“I'm kind of--freaking out right now--chests tight--hands are shaking too bad to type---”_

 

Yosuke’s heart was pounding, his first call with Izanagi; and the guy was having trouble even getting words out. The heavy short breaths seemed all too familiar, Yosuke knew the feeling all too well; the breathlessness of falling into a panic attack.

 

  “Slow breaths, can--can you tell me what brought this on?” If he could get Izanagi to slow his breathing enough to properly talk, maybe he could calm down a bit.

 

  _“I’m visi--visiting f-amily soon, it's--just my cousin and, and my uncle.”_ Izanagi stuttered out, _“b-but I have--hhhaven’t seen them in years and--and don't know their closeness with--with my parents.”_

 

 Yosuke gave a hum to let him know he was listening, not forcing him to say anymore; giving Izanagi the chance to choose whether or not to continue.

 

  _“Wh--at do I do if--if they're close to---to my parents? I…I haven’t, I can’t d--deal with them bri--nging up my parents all the time---”_ There was a strange noise from the line, halfway between a grunt and a sob; muffled by what Yosuke guessed was Izanagi's hand.

 

 “Slow breaths, don't---” Yosuke hesitated, trying desperately to stay calm and find his words; “don't cover your mouth, it'll be harder to breathe.”

 

  _“I don't--don’t wanna cry.”_

 

The man's heart squeezed again, this time from worry and sympathy instead of cuteness and appreciation. “If that helps, you can--”

 Izanagi quickly shut him down, _“‘m in public, tr--train bathroom--_ ”

 

 Yosuke desperately searched around his thoughts for an answer, trying to come up with anything that could help; some type of solution. Suddenly it came to him, recalling the way his mother used to stop him from having a fit as a child.

 

 “Al...alright. Let's play a game okay?” He inquired gently, trying to keep his own panic under wraps; “I'll tell you an object, and you say the color.”

 

 There wasn't any response, but the shallow breathing let him know Izanagi was still there; he took it as the other man listening and waiting for him to continue.

 

 “Alright, what color is a lemon?”

 

  _“...y-ye--yellow…?”_

 

“What about a banana?”

 

  _“Ye...yellow…”_

 

“How about a sunflower?”

 

   _“Yellow…”_

 

 Yosuke smiled to himself as he listened to Izanagi's voice slowly settle, raspy and panicked; but not as desperate and tight.

 

 “And my favorite color?”

  _“Y...ellow?”_

 

 He made a buzzer noise with his mouth, “Nope, it’s orange; and now you're the guy who's saying yellow over and over in a train bathroom!” Adding a bit of a teasing tone to his voice, he motioned in a ‘ta-dah’ gesture with one hand (even if Izanagi couldn’t see him.)

 Between them there was a pregnant pause, as if the joke was registering. Suddenly a small bubble of laughter came from the other line; growing into a weak, yet warm, laugh. Yosuke’s chest lit up and warmed, a grin plastering itself on his face; pride washing over him like a waterfall.

 

 After a bit he calmly piped up as the laughter died down, “you're okay, Izanagi.” The other line was silent for a moment, the breathing still deep; but calmer now, as if coming down from it’s rapid past state.

 

  _“Cause of you.”_ Izanagi replied, voice coming across looser; yet appreciative. _“I don't...I hate to bother people when that happens...it’s not common but---but I realized I needed someone to talk me down; and I remembered what you told me...last time we talked.”_

 

 “That was a while ago.” Yosuke stated back simply.

 

 Izanagi made a sound of agreement, _“I've been busy packing...I'm on vacation.”_

 

“Sounds fun.”

 

Yosuke could almost _feel_ the exasperation through the phone, _“we haven't even arrived yet, and it's already exhausting.”_ Yosuke chuckled, his grin still on his face. The relief he felt was like a warm hug, he felt some sort of absent bliss.

 

_“I need to wash my face, I should go.”_ Izanagi admitted, a disappointed tone touching his words.

 

  _Not yet._ Yosuke’s brain seemed to shout, _You've been gone for days, not yet!_

 

 “Are you okay though?” It was a helpless grab at some way to keep the conversation going; to not let Izanagi disappear again.

 

  _“I'm much better, I just...started to think too much.”_ The comforting voice seemed almost bashful in its words, _“thank you, for helping.”_

 

Yosuke couldn’t believe it, for all the countless times Izanagi had helped him; he was so earnestly thanking _him_ for helping him ONCE. “Geez man!” the words slipped out, “It’s nothing! It's the least I could do!”

 

  _“It's not nothing.”_

 

Heat began to rise to the man's cheeks, he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. The firmness of Izanagi's voice left him unable to respond.

 

  _“It’s not nothing to me.”_ He repeated, voice determined and firm through the slightly crackly reception. The added words made Yosuke even more embarrassed, feeling completely unable to form a response.

 

  “Man, you're embarrasin’ me…”

 

  _“You made me say yellow out loud in a public bathroom, consider it payback.”_

“I helped though!”

 

 Izanagi made a hum that almost sounded completely full of fondness, _“you did.”_ he conceded, Yosuke could hear the amusement in his words. _“I've got to back to my seat though.”_

 

“Yeah man, s...sorry. Go sit back down.”

 

  _“Thank you, Jiraiya.”_

 

“G...Geez…”

 

  _“Thank you.”_

 

Embarrassment and frustration made Yosuke close his eyes, “you're welcome! Happy?”

 

  _“As a clam.”_ What a serious tease, though Yosuke knew he shouldn't have been surprised considering how the guy typed, _“it'll probably take me awhile to get back to my seat with this splint on after all.”_

 

“Man, a splint and everything?” _Please keep talking to me._

 

  _“Oh it’s ugly too, I hate it.”_

 

 “Just draw something cute on it, like a cat.”

 

   _“I like how you think...I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night, Jiraiya.”_

 

Yosuke hoped Izanagi couldn't hear his obvious disappointment through the phone, “bye…”

 

The line went dead, making Yosuke pull his phone away to see the time. The ordeal had been quite a long time, but felt like it had been only a minute or two. In a way Yosuke felt conflicted, worried about Izanagi's situation; yet warm and comforted because he was _real._ Hearing his voice had confirmed it, _humanized_ him _, proved_ he wasn’t some delusion; that he wasn't gone.

 

 He had called Yosuke for help.

 

  He had _needed_ him.

 

 His eyes drifted to the sky once again, now a mix of purples and dark blues entirely; stars were beginning to appear. Yosuke stood, maneuvering the bench to grab his bike and start walking. All the while he replayed the voice of Izanagi in his head, the fact that he had relied on him making himself feel almost light on his feet. He thought of how Izanagi's voice seemed almost strangely familiar, though he couldn’t think of how; and how comforting it was even in such a strained state.

 

  Thoughts flickered back to Saki, only temporarily. About how kind she had been, about the ring he had gifted her, about how she had just disappeared.

 

 She hadn't ever shown weakness around Yosuke, never broken her politeness.

 

 Somehow, Yosuke realized, she seemed even more distant and unreal in person than a voice felt through one simple phone call.

 

  Had she hated him? Had she even cared about him at all? Would she have listened if he had ever come to her with his problems? Yosuke wasn’t sure he was strong enough to stand the answer if it had been handed to him on a platter. But it couldn’t be, he knew that, and he couldn't ask her. Even if he did have her number, he just _couldn't._

 

 His chest hurt at the idea, but as he walked, he kept his phone in his hand; still warm from his cheek. The feeling of comfort washed over him again.

 

 The fact that someone, somewhere, had thought of him in their moment of weakness.

 

 That it had meant so much to them.

 

  The idea draped itself on his shoulders, and for once, for _once_ his worries were overpowered by the feeling of being on the other end of help for once. Feelings of being appreciated, thanked, joked with.

 

 It was enough to keep him warm as he walked home, even in the nights breeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I'm so grateful for 1000 hits on this story; I NEVER thought I'd even get above 50 hits! 
> 
> All your comments and kudos make me so happy and I appreciate every one of you!


	7. Ready Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You saw through me  
> All this time  
> I'd forgotten  
> People are kind
> 
> I was hurting  
> And you knew  
> So you showed me  
> What to do
> 
> You said, "I will listen  
> Tell it all  
> When you're finished  
> We'll talk more"
> 
> But I didn't know how  
> So we took it in turns  
> And to my surprise  
> We found my words" 
> 
> \- "Ready Now" by Dodie Clark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, my life has been pretty hectic; but I wanted to update because I love you all and this story! 
> 
> TW FOR THIS CHAPTER!!: Suicidal thoughts, angst, and implied emotional abuse. Nothing graphic, but I wanted to issue a warning! 
> 
> Ladies and gentleman it's flashback time.

  The first Souji cried in front of Rise was something he knew he wouldn't ever forget. It lurked in the back of his memories, surfacing time and time again when the man felt like he was heading towards a low point. It made his throat burn with bile, but his heart swell with comfort.

 

  It had been the worst day of his life.

 

  It had been a new beginning.

 

  Most clearly, he recalled the feeling of the wind ruffling his disheveled middle school uniform; and the searing sensation of his cheek.

 

 A failed test.

 

 A fight.

 

A paper crane.

 

 A cat.

 

  The fight was the regularity of the bunch, as it was common for the silver haired middle schooler to get himself into fights he didn't want anything to do with. Souji hated school, hated people, and hated having to speak. Out of all of them, he knew school was what would help him in the future. His parents had drilled that into him. _School is the end all be all._ So he took school and discarded the others.

 

  Back then, Souji never spoke to anyone unless they had a teaching degree behind them; never made friends, never _wanted_ friends. Sure, there was that girl Rise. Her mother was highschool friends with Souji's own, and the silent boy commonly found himself staying at their house for weeks on end when his parents went on business trips. They played together as small children all the time, but once middle school came around and Souji decided to throw out the idea of friends; that came to an end.

 

  It wasn't a secret that the younger girl felt betrayed; commonly sitting outside Souji's locked door and trying to lure him out with her cutesy voice and offers of sweets or games. Never did Souji budge, he didn't need friends, he didn't want friends; he didn't want _anybody._

 

So, in the end, what happened to him was entirely his fault.

 

  In the middle of his second year of junior high, Souji fell incredibly ill; yet went to school nevertheless. With a high fever, during one class he found himself dozing off. As such, the boy missed nearly all of the information during that class. There was no way Souji could ask for help from anyone either, his mother's words filling his head.

 

   _“Ask nothing of other people, never fill your life with debts to others.”_

 

 Through contact with the teacher and self study, Souji had attempted desperately to comprehend what he had missed. A test was coming soon, he worked tirelessly to balance teaching himself and completing all other work he received. He had _thought_ he grasped it well enough.

 

  It was the first test Souji had ever failed.

 

   The fight had started after he had received his paper, which was tucked away shamefully in his uniform coats pocket. His hand clenched it tightly within the pocket as he went down the hallway. Mind swirling with worry and disgust, he hadn't been watching what was in front of him. His shoulder clipped someone else's, nearly knocking down the other person from the hard knock.

 

  It was a kid Souji had seen before, one that had given him trouble plenty of times. The type of kid who hated to be ignored, which was something the silent boy did well. Souji was taller than the kid and his two buddies, but he didn't like to fight back; if there was a chance he could be suspended or expelled…

 

 “Watch it, asshole!” The kid snapped, though in his despair Souji hadn't registered his words. When he tried to continue walking, the shorter one snatched his arm and yanked; “I was talking to you!”

 

 Sharp eyes met empty grey ones as Souji turned to look at the middle schooler. He didn’t even know his name, though Souji didn't really know anyone's name in his grade; he never bothered to learn them. He stared blankly, which only infuriated the kid more.

 

“Didn't you hear me? YOU ran into me, say you're sorry, dick!”

 

  There was no answer, Souji's collar was snatched and pulled tightly down so he had to lean over a bit; eyes still blank. _How had he allowed himself to fail?_

 

  The kids friend had muttered something to encourage his friend, “he thinks he's so much better than anyone that he doesn't even talk.” _Had he gone about teaching himself incorrectly? What had gone wrong?_

 

“You have three seconds to apologize.” The leader growled, putting up the appropriate amount of fingers; a crowd was gathering, whispering. Souji went to continue walking, but almost instantly there was a searing hot pain on his cheek; strong enough to send him stumbling to the ground. His hand flew from his pocket in the impact of the fist that hit his cheek. So much for three seconds.

 

  His hand met his injured cheek, looking up at the three hovering over him. Vaguely registering their faces, his eyes widened as he noticed the friend that hadn't spoken pick up a discarded paper and open it up. An amused look crossed his face as he passed it to the leader who had hit Souji. A sinking feeling filled the fallen kids chest, a lump formed in his throat.

 

 “Whatta we have here?” He cooed, holding up the test; the red marks plastered all over it visible to anyone with eyes, “Looks like ‘Mr. Souji Teachers Pet Seta’ ain't better than _any_ of us. We should put this on the bulletin board!” A grin crossed the kids face, “that way guh---!!”

 

  Souji to this day couldn't remember if he had elbowed or punched the kid. All he knew was it had been the throat, and he had hit _hard._ The kid collapsed as Souji snatched back his paper; then instantly took off sprinting. Barreling through the crowd that had formed, he didn't look back at the scene of the fight. He didn't hear or see anything, adrenaline almost seemed to clog his ears and blind his eyes. Running on instincts, Souji went to the first place he could think of as far away from people as possible.

 

   The wind of the rooftop felt nice yet painful, especially on the screaming skin of his cheek. Sitting down so he could overlook the treetops that surrounded the middle school, his fists held the now crumpled paper to his chest. No tears escaped, despite the paralyzing frustration and revulsion he felt.

 

  Even worse, the feeling in his chest wasn't towards the other kids.

 

 It wasn't to his parents.

 

  It was to himself.

 

  Questions filled his mind, desperately trying to understand what he had done so wrong to deserve this. Of all days to fail a test, of _all_ the days. It would be the one day his parents would be coming home from one of their trips.

 

  Souji knew what them being home meant. Before he had received his paper he had wondered what they would criticize him about this time. His hair? It was growing a little long, it almost fell in his eyes by now. The way he wore his uniform? Wearing the collar popped made himself feel shielded from other people. Maybe they would find out about how he had taken interest in origami and rip up all of his folding paper. He didn't know what to expect before, but now he did. It was the nightmare scenario; this _was_ his worst nightmare.

 

   Chest heavy, the despair-laden boys hands began to fidget. First folding the corner of paper (the side with his score) down. He felt some relief in the feeling of folding the paper; causing it permanent creases. He continued to do so, folding and folding and folding; until a small paper crane sat in his hand instead of a nauseating reminder of his own failure.

 

  Standing, the boy inched closer to the edge of the rooftop; a small distance before the step up at the edge. He raised his palm flat, the crane perched in it. His cheek stung. The wind made the cranes delicate wings quiver a bit; though it wasn't small enough to be blown away by a tiny breeze. It was a long way down, and Souji knew if it fell it certainly wouldn't fly. Things not made to fly, would fall.

 

  Souji stared blankly at the crane.

 

 It wasn't made to fly.

 

  _Bang!_

 

A start shot up Souji's spine, turning around quickly towards the rooftops entrance. Expecting an enraged teacher, instead Souji was met with the sight of a panting first year with copper colored hair. With wide, round eyes and a pretty bow knotted around the rubber band of her ponytail, Rise was looking as nice as ever. But the terror on her face conflicted with her cutesy appearance.

 

 “Souji!” She cried out upon seeing him, though she didn't approach at first. Her hands raised slowly to her torso in a ‘surrendering’ gesture, “Souji, it’s okay---I-I heard...I heard everything---” Rise delicately comforted, stepping forward hesitantly. Souji lowered the paper crane to look at her.

 

  When he didn't respond she continued, “I know there's a lot going on right now---b-but please calm d-down…” Confusion filled Souji's mind, he seemed calm, didn't he? He shifted his weight, Rise's face tightened with panic even more.

 

 “It's dangerous, Souji! Please, we can work together on this!” She pleaded, “It's just a test, j-just some _dumb_ kids! _Please_ , you're gonna _fall_ Souji!”

 

 Fall? Souji glanced behind him, he hadn't realized how close he had inched to the edge while lost in his thoughts. The back of his shoe was nearly reaching the very end. His eyes flickered back to the girl slowly shuffling closer, her school shoes scuffing the ground. Her eyes were swimming with what Souji expected must have been fear; it matched her blanched face.

 

  "Just come here." Rise began again, reaching out her hand; "I'll patch up your cheek, it looks like the kid who punched you had a ring on. I-it'll...it'll get infected if you don't let me patch it up."

 

 Souji looked at the crane in his hands, "I...don't want to go home…" The words escaped his lips, barely above a hoarse whisper. It had been so long since he used his voice, it was as if his body forgot what it had sounded like.

 

   The girls small palm extended forward more as she got closer, still a good distance away; as if trying to corner a scared rabbit. "Then don't!" Rise exclaimed, "We can go back to my house, we can figure this out."

 

 "I'm a burden, aren't I? It would be better if…"

 

 "Of course not, don't even finish that sentence! We're friends right? We used to play together all the time." The copper haired girl shook her head, ponytail bouncing with the motion, "Look, if you don't _want_ to be friends, that's okay. But I'm tired of watching you suffer in silence!"

 

   _Friends._ The word shook him to his core, Souji had been so sure about his resolve to never have friends. He didn't need them. They'd hold him back. He didn't need them. He didn't need them. He didn't.

 

  Yet his hand reached out to hers. Hesitantly, cautiously, but genuinely; he reached back to her.

 

  It was only then that a breeze picked up, hard enough to throw off Souji's balance. His foot, still barely before the edge, began to waver. His blood ran cold, something he couldn't name freezing his veins and shoving his heart into his throat as his body tilted backwards. Voice caught in his throat, he desperately grabbed at the air.

 

  "Souji!!"

 

   The hand that snatched his nearly cut off circulation with its strength, Rise crying out his name before latching onto his arm. With surprising vigor, the girl yanked the boy forward; away from the edge. Gravity still thrown off, the two stumbled and clattered to the ground in a painful heap.

 

   Souji's body felt like a whirlwind; every cell screaming in...adrenaline? Pain? What was it? Yet, he felt listless; unable to move from his spot, which was currently squishing the smaller girl beneath him. Rise shifted, sat up, and he moved with her. Brown eyes framed with long eyelashes searched his, Souji wondered what she saw. Before he could attempt to ask, her arms looped around his neck; pulling him into a vice-grip like embrace.

 

  "Oh _God_ , Souji don't do that!" She cried, voice wavering with tears. "I really thought you were going to jump--I was so scared! _So so_ scared!"

 

   Hesitantly, Souji's hands rose to meet her back; flat palms against her shaking shoulders. She had his head on her shoulder, bent a bit awkwardly in order to avoid being suffocated by her neck. _Friends._ The word echoed.

 

_Friends._

 

_Friends._

 

_Friends_.

 

 Souji's face screwed up, lip quivering as his eyes suddenly stung with pressure. Fingers digging into her uniform top; he let out a loud choke. Tears overflowed, sobs racking his body as he tried to fight the realization of what he had felt when the wind picked up. Desperately he clung onto Rise, until her own tears were dried and she turned to comforting him with soft-spoken words.

 

  He had felt pure _fear._

 

 Souji also could recall very clearly the aftermath, the feeling of being shocked when Rise stayed by his side until his despairing sobs subsided. He remembered how she patched up his cheek with some thick cotton bandage she carried around in a to-go first aid kit. How she hid away with him until the dismissal bell rang and they managed to escape without being spotted. How she had taken him to the nearby arcade.

 

  Being led around, Souji felt no desire to talk once again; but let his hand be held tightly by the warm hand with the painted nails. When they came across a claw machine full to the brim with plushies; he couldn't help but be drawn to one in particular.

 

  A long, almost pillow like cat plush; shaped like a rectangle; with a sewn on embroidery of a bandage on its nose and cheek. It was part of some brand, Souji was sure; but he couldn't look away. He brushed his fingertips over his own bandage.

 

  "Do you want it?" Rise asked, pointing to it with her free hand. He had forgotten that since he had stopped in his tracks; she had too.

 

 Quickly he shook his head.

 

 She paused, staring at the cat; "I'm getting it for you." Rise stated simply; releasing his hand to pull out her wallet. Despite his vehement protests consisting of head shakes and hand gestures; she went ahead anyway.

 

  After the 10th attempt, Souji was desperate to pull her away for the sake of his own conscience. Yet, she swatted his hands away that tried to tug at her; huffing as she put in more money to continue.

 

  "Cut it out! I'm not giving up on this thing; just like I'm not giving up on _you_ either!" She snapped defensively; squinting to focus. Souji shrunk back immediately, something akin to wonder and embarrassment filling his chest. He was so caught up in his own thoughts; he didn't realize the brunette had finally gotten the plush until it was shoved in his face.

 

 "I told you!" The sewn on round eyes of the cat stared back at Souji, "it's yours. From me to you, keep it safe, okay?"

 

  Taking it gently, the boy found himself unable to break its stare. Rise looked gleefully at him as he ran his thumbs back and forth across the soft fuzzy item. His eyes flickered to hers, then the cats. A gift.

 

   Souji felt a wave of relief wash over him, a warm feeling settling on him. Holding the cat, he felt something he hadn't felt in a long while; comfort.

 

  It was that day that he realized cats meant hope to him. They meant new beginnings, comfort, and healing. He held the stuffed animal close, looking at the grinning girl bashfully.

 

 "Okay."

 

______________________

 

  Even years later, Souji knew precisely where that silly crane machine cat was; tucked securely away in his carry on bag under his train seat. Returning once his face was less reddened, he shuffled over to his spot across from Rise, splint on his injured ankle making his steps awkward; he silently thanked the universe that Naoto and Kanji had sat elsewhere due to space. If Naoto had seen him, they would have pointed out his "post-cry appearance" right away. They would have known immediately.

 

  Rise knew as well, Souji could tell by the way her eyes watched him as he sat down. Staring up at him through her eyelashes, her posture was lax yet concerned; cheek resting on her knuckle with one leg over the other. Souji had known her long enough to recognize the worried vibes she was giving off. Her expression was a dead giveaway she knew, but Rise was never one to push. Even back in middle school, she never tried to force the emotions out of Souji; emotions even he struggled to grasp back then.

 

   "We're going to be transferring to another line soon."

 

 Souji hummed in agreement and stared dazed, recalling the sound of Jiraiya's voice. How he had sounded when Souji had begun to tease him; albeit the words behind the teasing were genuine. The man wasn't exactly sure what he would picture Jiraiya to look like; he hadn't given it much thought. But now he had a voice, spoken words; and he was real. It was a sweet voice, Souji decided; timid yet clear and unique. It was difficult to remember the precise details as he had only time to register it through his panic, but when he thought of it those words came to mind.

   

  Across from him a packet of face wipes was pushed his way.

 

 "Your face is red, rest these on your eyes." Souji gratefully took them, pulling one out and placing a cool face wipe over his eyes; tilting his head back to keep it settled. A soothing chill cooled down his face; though he couldn't tell why he had turned red again. He had been sure to wait until the color had left his face before leaving the bathroom.

 

   Somewhere in his gut he felt a weighty guilt; he didn't want Rise to know her idea of visiting Yasoinaba had spurred a panic attack. He was sure she already knew; she could see through him better than he could himself. Kanji's family lived there, so did Rise's grandparents; of course it would be reasonable to visit the small town for their hiatus. He shifted in his seat.

 

   Souji thought of his phone call again, not realizing his fidgeting until he accidentally rolled his ankle a bit as if to normally stretch it. A pain shot up his leg, reminding him that it was indeed still there and still very sore. He sat up on instinct, wipe flopping onto his lap as he recalled something important. Rise stared at him owlishly.

 

   "What's got you all riled up?" She questioned.

 

  "I had someone give me the best idea ever, hold on." Digging through his pockets, he found a pen he had shoved in one earlier that day; and bent over in his seat to mess with his splint.

 

   The brace was a white color and sturdy, though easily removable. It was a perfect canvas. Tenderly, as to not irritate his injury, he went to work; Rise leaning over to watch him curiously.

 

   As he added the last touches, a grin spread across her face; a laugh spilling out spontaneously as she sat back. Her hand met her face, rubbing her eyes as she giggled. "I should have known!"

 

   On the side of his white cast, there was now a very familiar drawing of a cats face. Childish and cartoony; Souji of course remembered to include the bandages the original had. It wasn't a perfect imitation of his plush, (Souji really wasn't that good of an artist). He grinned back at her, "Jiraiya gave me the idea."

 

  "Of course he did."

 

  "You say it like it's a bad thing." Humor filled his tone, his eyes rolled then flickered over to Kanji and Naoto's seats across the way. The blonde man was dead asleep, the detective across from him reading some novel; neither looking their way. Souji slipped his phone out and snapped a picture of his masterpiece; typing a message to go with it.

 

   _Izanagi_

_7:45 PM_

_I took your advice! What should I name it?_

 

_Jiraiya_

_7:49 PM_

_is taht witj a pen???? dude thas nevr gunna come off!!_

 

_Izanagi_

_7:50 PM_

_Meow?_

 

_Jiraiya_

_7:51 PM_

_U sur do get bettr fast_

 

_Izanagi_

_7:51 PM_

_That's because of you, of course. :)_

 

Rise huffed as she leaned over to watch him type, jabbing him in the side.

 

  "You're such a fucking goober" She chided.

 

   "The one and only"

 

______________________

 

  Once the train stopped for the last line transfer, Rise and Souji both donned respective sunglasses and medical masks. It was dark, sure, but they didn't exactly want to be recognized while walking about with their arms full of luggage; even if it meant having to wear ridiculous looking disguises. The four traveling gathered their belongings and shuffled out of the previous train to head to the next. Naoto was the one who had silently decided to be the 'leader' of the group. Kanji and Rise had taken this trip more times than the other two, but Naoto had made been the one to memorize where to be and when.

 

   The silver idol was the last to leave the train, trailing behind Rise with his carry-on bag slung over his shoulder; Kanji pulling along his bulky luggage (plus his own) behind him. He had insisted, as Souji was having enough difficulty walking as is. They weren't at Inaba yet, and the traffic of people in the station was steady. Rise talked with Kanji up ahead; their conversation indistinctive to Souji. Naoto trekked on ahead, too focused to take part in their conversation.

 

  His mind wandered, no real, coherent thought crossing his mind; but anything to keep his mind from trailing back to his nerves was good enough. He despised having to limp so awkwardly; but the pressure he could put on his foot was strictly limited (as per Naoto's word) and the splint made it hard to take a proper step.

 

  In his daze, he felt a hard bump; which effectively woke him back to reality. A girl with thick, wavy, light brown hair and a solemn expression on her face looked at him; her bag of items spilled all around her.

 

  "I'm so sorry--" She began, Souji quickly crouched down and started to gather her things; she quickly followed.

 

 "Don't worry, I wasn't looking where I was going." Souji admitted, quickly putting as much of the items away as he could. Lipstick, hairbrush, toothbrush, essentials it seemed. She exhaled good-naturedly and threw in a few more items.

 

  "That makes two of us."

 

  Once everything was picked up, the girl lifted the bag onto her shoulder and looked about; eyes stopping once they landed on a family consisting of two parents and a younger boy waiting for her. She waved at them, then turned to Souji.

 

"Thank you so much…?" The girl trailed off, raising delicate eyebrows as if to ask a question. Souji fidgeted with the stretchy strap of his mask.

 

 "Seta."

 

 "Konishi." She responded, giving a smile; though it didn't reflect in her brown eyes. "Thank you Mr. Seta. Sorry again--"

 

  Souji gave a short nod, the Konishi girl starting to pass him. Eyes flickering to the floor, he noticed something left there. Crouching down, he picked it up.

 

  He called out after her, "Miss Konishi, you forgot this!" Pinching a ring between his thumb and index finger, he held it up. It was a cheap, simple looking one, but cute; in the shape of some sort of flower. Souji wasn't too caught up on his flowers, but he was pretty sure it was some sort of daisy. Konishi's face flashed with melancholy recognition.

 

 "A-Ah...keep it please. As...as a thank you?" Her tone conveyed more of a question, but before Souji could respond she turned; light brown hair swaying, and rushed off to meet her family.

 

  Staring at the ring, Souji pushed it into his palm and turned it about with his fingers. It _was_ most definitely simple, just a thin band and a flower with white petals lined in metal.

 

   He hummed in thought, Souji was one who believed in signs. The universe had a way of giving you things to encourage you, he knew it well; thinking of the plush nestled in his bag under his arm. Holding up the ring to the light, he smiled. _A good luck charm._

 

 A charm to keep him happy and healthy during his vacation, Souji decided.

 

  Rise, way up ahead, turned; Souji guessed she must have noticed the lack of uneven footsteps behind her. She put up an arm and waved.

 

 "Are you coming or not!?"

 

 Chuckling, Souji put his arm down and shoved the ring into his back pocket; adjusting his bag.

 

 "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!"

 

  _Things were gonna be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support, comments, and kudos. I appreciate you all so much and love hearing from you all! 
> 
> You are appreciated and loved, no matter how dark the world may seem at times. <3


	8. Meeting You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come get y'all Yosuke loving juice.

  What made him do it, Yosuke wasn't exactly sure. If he had to come up with a reason, he supposed it had to have been an accumulation of everything all at once; yet nothing _really._ The breaking point had been a silent snap; no spectacular display, no cry of rebellion. But for it to bring him to this point; digging in his closet until fingers meet the dusty wood of an abandoned acoustic, somehow, Yosuke wished the lead up had been more significant.

______________________

 

   "What do you think, Yosuke?" Teddy had asked earlier that evening, while the two of them attempted to prepare vegetables for that nights stew. Yosuke was currently chopping up potatoes Teddy would hand him as he finished peeling them; both of their parents weren't home yet, and the TV buzzed in the background as they worked.

 

  The sudden question shook Yosuke from his concentrated daze; focused so intently on not losing a finger as he chopped the vegetables that he had begun to work on autopilot (as he tended to do quite often) thinking of nothing in particular. "What?" He bleated instinctively, "oh-uh--mm; awful, really awful." Though he had no plausible guess on what his younger brother had asked him, Yosuke assumed it must have been bad; considering the expression the blond was giving him.

 

    " _Yosuke!"_ The younger boy whined, "You weren't even listening, were you?" He handed over another peeled potato, reaching for another as he stared at Yosuke with a pout plastered on his face.

 

   The brown haired brother winced, immediately regretting not listening the first time. Teddy got very huffy when Yosuke ignored him, (though he hadn't really meant to in the first place); and he had long ago learned it was just better to give him your attention. That was the thing with Teddy, he was an attention grabber: people clung to his words when he spoke, laughed when he joked; and regretted it when their attention strayed.

 

   Yosuke's hands shook a bit, nearly nicking his thumb as he cut the potatoes; though he caught it in time to move the appendage away. There was a good amount pushed to the side by now, but Teddy was peeling them with such fervor it was hard to tell him enough was enough. Good thing potatoes were well-liked in the household.

 

   "Okay, okay, sorry," Yosuke began, pausing to put his hands up in surrender; knife still loosely held in his right. "I was too busy trying to not taint our potatoes with my blood; my bad." Teddy's nose scrunched in disgust."Tell me again, I'm listening this time, swear."

 

   The blond finally shifted to begin peeling the carrots. (Yosuke always said how he didn't really _need_ to peel them, but Teddy just enjoyed the activity.) "I can't believe you didn't know, it was bear-y big news on social media."

 

  He ignored the subtle bear pun the best he could, "I don't _use_ social media that much, Ted."

        It wasn't a total lie, the man had never been a very big 'social media' person; not really. But it was more that he just wasn't the type to use his phone all too much, not since he graduated. If it wasn't to listen to music or sparsely text someone, Yosuke generally didn't use his cell phone often. Although, he thought, he had been using it much more often lately. He knew who he could contribute that to; and the thought stirred a small hint of bashfulness in his stomach.

 

   "Basically," Ted caught his attention again as he began to slide the chopped vegetables into the pot heating on the stove, "Risette and Narukami announced they're are going on hiatus a few days ago."

  Yosuke paused, an eyebrow quirking as he glanced at his brother, "a hiatus…? Already? Aren't they just starting to get real popular?"

 

  "They've made music for a few years now, but just took off. Maybe the pressure's just gotten un-bear-able."

  Something itched at Yosuke's mind, he fiddled with the knife in his hand; he tossed it up a small distance and caught it again by the handle. Teddy's eyes lit up; he loved when Yosuke did his knife tricks, as simple as they were. The elder's stomach began to twist as he considered the idea, a frown settling deep into his face.

 

  "That's stupid." He deduced simply, frown deepening as he registered the feeling bubbling in his stomach and rising to his throat; _jealousy_ and _anger_. "I mean, if you're doing something you love; you wouldn't get tired of it. Would you?"

 

  "What do you mean?"

 

  "Like you flirting with cute girls on shift, Ted." Sarcasm dripped from Yosuke's words like honey.

 

  "Oh," Teddy smiled, "well I could _never_ get tired of that."

 

  Yosuke handed Ted the knife and shifted over to manning the pot of soon-to-be stew, neither of them were cooks; but it wasn't a difficult meal. "See?" The jealousy spoke for the man, taking over his sense of filter; "that's what I mean. If you love to do something---I just mean, if it were _me--"_

 

  The words had slipped, and Yosuke immediately knew Teddy had noticed by the sound of the knife against the cutting board stopping, he tensed and mixed the vegetables slowly and angrily. He pushed down on a potato chunk with the wooden spoon, it busted under the pressure into half-mush.

 

 "If it were _me---"_ Yosuke began again, not looking from the pot. The words didn't come to him; no continuation coming to mind. At a loss, he shook his head.

 

  "Yosuke…" Teddy's worried voice made him draw away more, shuffling his sock-covered feet nervously.

 

  His tone was soft but curt, "it's just hypothetical Ted, just keep chopping."

 

  Teddy didn't try to argue.

 

 ______________________

 

 Later that evening, once the brothers mother had come home and stew was made and eaten; the three of them settled in. Yosuke knew his dad would probably be home pretty late; he was usually the last to leave Junes on days he worked. They had put on a movie and settled into the couch with a blanket or two, Yosuke situated himself in the between Teddy and his mother.

   Yosuke was a mommas boy, there was no real way to deny it. He had taken after his mother a great deal, both by choice and by chance. She had a lean build, much like Yosuke himself, but her arms had a considerable amount of tone to them. Perfect for helping at Junes with unloading trucks, (she had been the one to do that primarily, before Yosuke had built enough muscle himself to help.) She was a woman with warm brown eyes like Yosukes, soft caramel colored hair that curled at her clavicle, and perpetual smiles. Her son's natural hair color was more close to his father's, and Yosuke had always been keen on dying it to match his mother.

 

   The woman was resting on her side, taking up most of the couch; with her head placed on Yosuke’s lap as she watched the movie. Teddy was situated tightly into the brown haired mans other side, already snoozing; Yosuke wasn't the type for physical affection usually, but this he had gotten used to and made an exception for.

  

   He could tell his mother was exhausted, shifting her feet back and forth against each other like a cricket; a tick Yosuke had inherited as well. She shifted onto her back, looking up at her son with tired eyes. Yosuke gave her a quizzical look back.

 

  "What's wrong?" He questioned, reaching out to brush her bangs out of her eyes; "Movie boring?"

 

  She shook her head, "No…" In the dark room, Yosuke could only distinguish his mothers features by the light of the T.V. "I was just thinking."

 

 "That's dangerous, ma." Her response came in the form of a joking eye roll and jab with her elbow in his stomach.

 

 "How have you been feeling?" Yosuke paused when she asked, considering the question; his elbows still hurt from the incident at Junes a few days prior, but they were healing alright. "I heard about the Konishi family moving."

 

 "Already?" That's what she had meant.

 

 "The towns small, hun. You'd be surprised how easy it is to overhear gossip when you people watch."

 

   That was another thing Yosuke had taken from his mother, her preference to observe and not to _be_ observed. Both of them were good at listening, watching; but never intervening. For Yosuke it was the feeling of being a nuisance; though it was different for his mother. She just never felt the need; Yosuke had noticed that long ago. The woman didn't want to involve herself with fake people; she was satisfied without the need for validation by others. Yosuke hoped, wished, that one day he would inherit that as well.

 

  "She didn't say anything, did she?" She pressed on, delicately trying to form the question.

 

  Yosuke hesitated, then nodded weakly.

 

  His mother exhaled, scoffing, "I never liked her."

 

 "I know you _did_ , ma."

 

 "Well, I don't like her now."

 

 Yosuke hummed in response, shrugging his shoulders. Brown eyes kept themselves on him, but the feeling from them wasn't pity; but simple warmth and affection.

  "Suffice to say you weren't talking to her when you were smiling at your phone a few days ago?"  

 

  The man jumped, looking down at his mom quickly. An instant heat settled at his cheeks from the surprise, his mother grinned at his response. "What?!" He whispered, trying to hide the shock in his tone. Teddy shifted beside him, but didn't wake; to his relief.

 

  "You're my son, Yosuke. I can read you pretty well."

 

  "That's not fair…" Yosuke whined sheepishly, trying to will the blush on his cheeks to die down. His mother knew him too well; or maybe he was too obvious.

 

  "So who is it?" She chirped.

 

  "Ma…"

 

  She seemed to catch the hint, chuckling and turning onto her side; cheek tucked into her hand resting on Yosuke's pajama pants clad leg. "Well," The woman began fondly, "whoever they are, I'd like to meet them. They must be special to make you smile so dorky."

 

 "Now you're just bullying me."

 

    _He is._ Yosuke thought, despite himself. Izanagi _was_ special, in a way Yosuke couldn't place. The boy hadn't even met him; but there was a comfort that came with Izanagi. And he couldn't place how that feeling had come so naturally. If he had been asked what had made Saki "special", Yosuke realized, the answer would have been simple. _She was nice._ He would have answered. _She cared about me._ Had she? Yosuke wasn't sure now.

 

  When it came to Izanagi, it was more than that. It was easy to say someone is nice when they smile at you; to say they cared for you when they would pat your back and give you a hug. But he didn't have that Izanagi, he couldn't. Izanagi was somewhere out there, somewhere Yosuke had no idea of. He could have been on the other side of the world for all he knew. Still, there was that comfort. An openness and surreal feeling of companionship Yosuke felt that he had struggled to feel elsewhere. If he knew better, Yosuke wouldn't think Izanagi was real; but he _was._ He knew it, he had heard it for himself.

 

  Another chuckle rumbled in his mother's chest, a silence falling between them as the sounds from the television became more evident. Yosuke's eyes roamed to the screen, it was some obscure American movie from the 80s. It was a film the family had seen before plenty of times; but it was mindless by now and provided some background noise to their relaxing.

 

   A good while passed, the movie leading into its last quarter and the conflict that Yosuke knew but wasn't paying attention to was close to its resolution. Teddy had shifted away from his brother, now curled into a tight ball beside him with his body now leaning in the opposite direction. His mother seemed to drift in and out of sleep; and eventually her tiredness had slowly begun to affect Yosuke as well. It was close to Junes closing, his dad hadn't called yet; but that was normal. He had learned it wasn't worth worrying about; his father _was_ manager after all.

 

   His eyelids were beginning to droop, right when he heard his mother call his name once again; this time a bit more coated with sleep. He made a grunt to tell her he was listening.

 

   "Did you ever sell that guitar of yours?"

 

  Suddenly, as if suddenly zapped by lightning, all of Yosuke's peacefulness and calmness vanished. He tended considerably and looked at his mother with wide eyes.

 

   "What?"

 

 "I was just thinking about it. You were so good at it." She muttered, obviously too tired to register the sudden uncomfortable vibes radiating from her son. "You...used to like playing it, right?" Her tone was that of a statement, but the slight rise in her voice seemed to try and mask it as a question.

 

   He didn't want to respond, frustration simmering in his stomach. Why did this keep happening? Sure he had backed himself into a corner earlier with Ted, he'd admit that at least; but why his mom now?

 

  "I did." Yosuke answered shortly, frowning deeply in the dim light of the room.

 

  "Did you get tired of it?"

 

  "You know that's not the reason I stopped, ma." Yosuke hated acting curt to his mom, it felt unnatural; but he couldn't help it.

 

   "You could always start again."  

 

  Yosuke scoffed, "I wouldn't even remember how to play."

 

    This time, the woman scoffed back; sitting up from her lounging position, no longer using Yosuke as a pillow. Her eyes shined with a silent challenge, and she quirked an eyebrow. "That's bullshit," she announced, making sure to keep her volume quiet as to not wake her adoptive son still asleep. "You don't forget that stuff that easily, Yosuke. Hell, _I_ could pick up a guitar and probably play a few chords. And it's been a lot longer for me than you."

 

  More than anything, the biggest thing Yosuke had inherited from his mother was her love of music. It didn't matter what kind, as long as it had a good tempo and beats; she could find appreciation for it. She had an ear for music; and especially loved western bands and musicians (Yosuke had grown up on them and felt a fondness for them as well.) As a child, Yosuke had been mesmerized by the pictures the family owned of his mother in a high school band; playing guitar. His mother had been his greatest support, and he knew she would have _loved_ for him to go into the music industry.

 

   His stomach turned, eyes averting from the older woman's gaze; from the eyes that looked so distinctively like his. He hated it. He hated the feeling that conversations like this brought him, especially when it came to his mom. It always stirred something up in Yosuke, made him question, made him think. It made him regret. There had been no _real_ reason for Yosuke to stop playing entirely; nothing but his own bitterness, his own spite.

 

  "I don't want to talk about it." The words were whispered and weak, and right after they were uttered an arm hooked around him; cradling his head and drawing him into a hug. His mother pressed him into her collarbone and lower neck, pulling her other arm around his shoulders to properly embrace him. Yosuke felt like a toddler, but instinctively hugged her back. The scent of the orange blossom perfume she wore that was now wearing off to a whisper of a smell, and the slight lavender smell from the laundry detergent the family used filled his nose; loosening his tense shoulders.

 

  "I'm sorry." She whispered, petting his hair soothingly, "I didn't mean to upset you, hun…" Yosuke exhaled, trying to steel himself to not get emotional. He always got weak when it came to this topic, "I shouldn't have mentioned it."

 

   He leaned into her more, suddenly wishing he was a child once again; able to crawl into his mother's arms and be ignorant of worry.

 

  "I'm okay. Really ma, I'm alright." He lied.

 

  Beside him Teddy stirred awake, blanket draped over his head and around his shoulders. He blinked blearily, then crawled over to where the other two were lounging; attempting to situate himself at his mother's other side. She quickly began to pet his head as well, no matter how old they got; they were still her kids, Yosuke noted. It wasn't long before their mother and Teddy finally settled and dozed off.

 

  Yosuke couldn't sleep.

 

______________________

 

  The nights chilly breeze numbed Yosuke's cheeks and burned his throat as he jogged. It was late; probably past midnight, and it had been too much hassle to try and get his bike out in the cold. Guitar strapped to his back, it felt as though the world had been saddled on his shoulders. It wasn't exactly sneaking out, he supposed; he was an adult by now. But he had left in secret nonetheless once his father had come home and everyone had went to bed.

 

   Part of him wished he could have to courage to flaunt the guitar in front of his father, but he wasn't that terrible. He knew his father had meant well; that it had been his choice to tuck away his guitar for so long. But something told him he had to play it; he _had_ too.

 

  Slowing down as he approached the riverbed, Yosuke glanced around in hopes to spot a certain calico who liked to hang out nearby. He wasn't exactly sure how cats reacted to music, or if it would scare her, but Nagi was a pretty curious cat; he had found out over time. If nothing else, maybe she could be the impartial audience he needed. At this hour nobody was out, and Yosuke didn't mind trying to play for a cat. At least she wouldn't judge his screw ups.

 

   He didn't spot her, but settled into the grass either way. Sure, he had gotten pretty proud of how close he had grown with the calico recently, but she was still a cat. With luck, maybe the sound of the guitar would appeal to her curiosity and lure her out.

 

   Slipping the guitar onto his lap and trying to avoid his still tender elbows, he felt his fingers turn to stone; hovering just above the strings. He wanted to check if it was in tune, but couldn't will himself to bring his fingers down to strum. Somehow he regretted that he had lost his favorite guitar pick long ago, right after he had decided to retire his guitar entirely. Strumming the guitar with his fingers felt even more personal, out of his comfort zone; not that there was much he could consider "in his comfort zone."

 

   After a considerable amount of time of just sitting there, hopelessly frustrated; he finally brought his first finger down. The guitar let out its first proper hum, and Yosuke cringed. It was out of tune, though not terribly; the strings _were_ old, Yosuke considered. Fidgeting with the knobs and periodically trying again to hear the flaws in the sound; he set to work plucking out the issues one by one.

 

   _You don't forget that stuff easily._

 

   It hadn't taken that long, he managed to get the old guitar as good as it could get. He strummed it a few times more, getting a steady thrum; and alternating his other fingers to press down on different strings. The notes didn't exactly make any real melody; just a string of experimenting, pushing. At some point he unconsciously went to go slip his headphones from his neck onto his ears, as he used to in middle school and highschool when he would play, and realized they weren't on him at the moment.

 

  He almost chuckled to himself, how quickly he went back to old habits he thought he had forgotten. Throughout middle school and high school he had spent countless hours in his room practicing his music. Back then he had really thought it could go somewhere, that he wouldn't ever stop making music. It hurt to think about now, but the feeling of the wood in his hands helped soothe him. Continuing, he attempted to recall old songs he used to play; clumsily trying to replicate the notes he thought he could recall.

 

  It didn't sound good; he knew that, but it _felt_ good. _So_ good. The bitter emotions bubbling and rising, then subdued again with the feeling of comfort that playing had always brought him. It was just for tonight, nothing would come of it, but he was alone; and he could pretend. Pretend that the guitar wouldn't be stashed away by morning, pretend that he had never given it up to begin with, pretend, pretend, pretend.

 

    He imagined himself on stage performing, with fans that adored him, living his dream. He imagined not ever having to go back to Junes. He imagined being someone else other than the "Junes Prince."

 

   Something warm and soft brushed his knee suddenly, when he was too lost in trying to make a coherent tune. He felt it through the hole in his pants at his knee, the old jeans he had thrown on before leaving hadn't been the best for such a chilly night; but he had been too involved to care. Glancing down, two green eyes met his, and he reached down to scratch the creature behind its ears.

 

   "Glad you could join me, where did you go off to this time?" Nagi chirped in response, leaning into his palm with enough strength to knock herself over. Her eyes blinked open and closed slowly; and Yosuke felt a smile twitch at his lips. Her paws moved up to lift her upper body onto his knee, pushing the skin of his thigh down a bit painfully. "Alright, alright, back up. I can't play if you're climbing my leg." He cooed, using his palm to lift her up and place her down on the grass.

 

   Once again he tried to play, this time being able to get more solid sounding notes out. Nagi seems something between apathetic and bored, but it wasn't as though Yosuke had been expecting much. She laid down on the grass nearby, beginning to clean herself.

 

   When she looked up suddenly, Yosuke didn't think much of it; until he noticed she was staring with her eyes wide. It was dark, the area only lit up by the lights of the slightly distant houses. It was enough to see, but hard to make out details. She continued to stare directly past Yosuke, at something that must have been behind him.

 

   A feeling suddenly settled on the man's shoulders, the feeling of being observed. _Intently._ Of someone staring at his back, eyes trained on him; watching. He stopped playing the second it began to weigh on him.

 

  Some sense of fear overtook his senses, recalling all the shows he had seen of innocent people being kidnapped late at night. He _did_ have his guitar, was he strong enough to use it as a weapon?

 

  The feeling of being watched became unbearable, and he swore he heard shuffling behind him. Nagi's tail thumped against the ground impatiently.

 

   Yosuke gathered his courage and inhaled, quickly turning his body as much as he could to see.

 

  He froze.

 

  Up on the upper banks of the floodplain, away from the water; there stood a man. Illuminated by the lights behind him, Yosuke could vaguely make out the silver of his hair. In his hand he could see the silhouette of a pair of sunglasses. And despite the fact that he had a medical mask covering the lower half of his face, his grey eyes clearly showed the panic of a man who knew he had been caught.

 

 And Yosuke had been caught all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for 200 kudos! All of your comments and kudos absolutely make my day.
> 
> Also, sorry for the cliffhanger. ;)
> 
> Hopefully the next part won't be long, my schedule has been awfully crazy. 
> 
> See you all soon! (*・∀-)☆


	9. The Musician

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was especially fun to finally get to, and I know it's something that a lot of people have been waiting for!
> 
> Let's kick off pride month right ladies and gentlemen. ;)

     The possibility that Yosuke Hanamura could ever have a stalker wasn't something he ever considered. And, honestly, he realized it was something he really didn't _want_ to consider. Staring blankly behind him, the man can basically _feel_ his face blanch. The joyous flush he had felt on his cheeks while playing drained instantly; and was replaced by intense embarrassment and shellshock.

 

   Across from him, the figure stared back; just as pale. It was a tall man, yet his slender silhouette was accentuated by the fact that he had a yukata robe loosely placed over his clothes. It hung open, showcasinging the black pants and white sweater underneath it; but was tied at the middle as if in an attempt to keep it on him. Yosuke immediately recognized it as one of the Amagi Inn robes; not typical "stalker-like" clothes.

 

  Though the medical mask on his face and sunglasses he was toting in one hand, at night of all times, gave a different message. Half of Yosuke's brain was attempting to register everything, while the other was telling him to make a run for it. Nagi chirped from where she was laying, and he realized the second option wasn't something he could manage. Like hell he would leave Nagi with some stranger at night.

 

   Before Yosuke could even attempt to speak, the other man quickly tugged the medical mask down with his index finger and put up his other hand; sunglasses waving as he moved them.

 

  "Please forgive me, I...I didn't mean to startle you---" He apologized weakly, putting his hands together in a pleasing gesture; "I know this probably looks terrible…"

 

   Blinking, Yosuke shifted his body; squinting. That voice seemed oddly familiar, though he couldn't place it. He stared for a moment, before a realization washed over him.

 

  "Aren't you…" He trailed off, mind attempting to catch up to what his eyes were seeing, "You're that Narukami idol, aren't you?"

 

  The silver haired man cringed, fiddling with the medical mask he had been so quick to discard. "I was hoping that I wouldn't be recognized." He admitted sheepishly, Yosuke kept his eyes on him; mouth ajar. The idol began to fidget under his gaze.

 

  "Why…?" The brown haired man couldn't form proper words, he wondered if this was what going into shock felt like. _Why are you here? Why are you watching me?_ Yosuke didn't know what question to ask first, and he couldn't manage to get any out either way.

 

  "Can I sit?" Narukami asked suddenly, a strange expression crossing his face. His form seemed to wobble, the weight in his body seeming to unconsciously shift to one side. Glancing down, Yosuke's eyes landed on the brace situated around one of his ankles. Narukami winced, Yosuke noticed; and quickly motioned to the grass nearby. His fear being replaced by relative concern, though the embarrassment and confusion was still settled deep in his chest.

 

   The idol quickly sat down nearby, far enough away to not invade the other man's personal space; but close enough to talk comfortably. Nagi began to pace, quickly situating herself behind Yosukes body; using him as a barrier between herself and the silver haired man.

 

  "I'm sorry about…that." Narukami exhaled, motioning to where he had been standing before, "I just arrived in Inaba recently and...to be honest I saw your cat outside my window a little bit ago." He pointed at Nagi, who was blinking at him with untrusting eyes. "I tried to approach her but she ran off, and when I saw her heading to the river I just got worried."

 

  Yosuke felt heat rise in his cheeks, that wasn't what he was concerned about. Cradling his guitar, he drummed his fingers against the hollow instrument anxiously. "How long were you there?" He questioned, wanting desperately to shrink into himself and disappear.

 

  "Only a few minutes." The taller man admitted, rubbing at the nape of his neck. "I was just a bit taken back; I was just following the cat and then I saw her run over to a person sitting by the river playing a guitar in the middle of the night."

 

  "You make it sound really creepy."

  "I was amazed."

 

  Yosuke paused at the response, feeling the heat zeroing in on his face even more. Instantly the desire to hide his face and shrink away hit him like a load of bricks. He stuttered out a simple "oh" in response and fiddled with the strings of his guitar.

 

   "I'm also glad you don't seem to be a crazy fan or anything." Narukami continued, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Internally, Yosuke nearly laughed, _yeah_ he thought. _How can I politely say I've been hopelessly jealous and bitter because of you recently?_ He was still struggling to comprehend that an idol was sitting on the riverbed in Inaba of all damned places, that an idol had been "amazed" by him.

 

   There was no response he could manage, simply glancing at the man sitting nearby periodically to get a good look at him.

 

 Man. He was pretty.

 

 Maybe pretty wasn't the word. Handsome? Yosuke didn't really know. Sure, he had realized long ago that he _could_ find guys attractive; but the aura of an idol really was surreal. Even wearing a sloppy yukata as a jacket like article, thrown hastily over a normal outfit; and a medical mask hanging under his chin, Narukami was still as pretty as he was in those posters Yosuke had seen in the technology section of Junes.

 

   The silver idol had a sharp jaw, fair skin that looked well taken care of, and a thin nose. His eyes were what caught Yosuke's attention, a greyish color with long dark eyelashes framing them. They seemed to reflect whatever he happened to be looking at, whether it be ripples in the water or the faraway lights from the houses. Yosuke had never seen a person manage to look nice with a bowl cut, although he supposed Narukamis hair wasn't _exactly_ a bowl cut, but it was close enough, and Narukami made it work flawlessly.  

 

  But in the flesh there seemed to be a disconnect between the Narukami on the posters and the man sitting by him. He had a slight red under his eyes, coupled with an exhausted expression; likely from lack of sleep. Yosuke wasn't even sure how late it was by now. The man had a miniscule beauty mark under one eye which Yosuke likely wouldn't have seen hadn't it been for the fact that Narukami was facing the direction a majority of the light from other houses were coming from; meanwhile Yosuke's back was to them.

 

   Yosuke felt the intense inferiority weighing on his shoulders like lead.

 

   When he glanced up again, his eyes met the grey ones he had been noting beforehand. Narukami was staring intently at him with an interested look. Well, he thought at first that he was looking at him, until he noticed his eyes were too low for that. Yosuke turned his head to look back at Nagi, then back at Narukami.

 

  "Did you want to pet her?" He inquired, raising an eyebrow curiously. The steely eyes flickered to him, and lit up.

 

  "I came this whole way with a bad ankle to do that, to be honest."

 

  Yosuke shuffled out of the way, bringing himself to the side while pressing his guitar closer to his chest. Nagi gave him a quizzical look, watching as her human shield moved away.

   Narukami dragged himself closer to the calico carefully, reaching his hand out slowly towards Nagi. The cat at first sniffed his fingers, eyes rapidly fluttering as she checked it out. In a flash suddenly her ears fell flat and mouth curled, a loud hiss erupting from the normally calm feline. Raising her paw, she swatted at the mans hand a few times rapidly before he was able to bring it back to his body.

 

   "Shit, did she get you?" Yosuke gave a worried look, blinking as he saw the expression on the silver haired mans face. Never before had he seen someone look so absolutely _heartbroken._ If he hadn't seen the interaction that had caused it; Yosuke would assume that Narukami had just been rejected by the love of his life.

 

  "I've never had a cat do that to me before." Voice verge on pitiful, something stirred in Yosuke’s chest. He glanced back at Nagi, who was now cleaning herself; completely unbothered. _Never_ had Nagi take a swipe at him like that, and Yosuke was pretty much a hundred percent sure he was more overbearing than Narukami was. She seemed to notice his stare and looked back at him with innocent eyes.

 

   An idea popped into his head, though it was a bit of a gamble. "Here." Yosuke announced, "We'll try something different." _Lord Nagi, please don't take my skin off if I try this._ The thought passed his mind, but under the hopeful curious gaze of the idol; he couldn't go back on his idea.

 

  Carefully placing the guitar next to him on the grass, Yosuke reached over and hooked his thumbs under Nagi's arms. Only a curious chirp escaped her as he lifted her upwards, carefully pulling her onto his lap. One hand went to support her bottom half as she didn't attempt to escape; instead turning to putty as he moved her. Once she was situated in his lap, Yosuke moved his hand from under her and used his leg to support her; scratching her behind the ears.

 

 Internally he gave a major sigh of relief. Nagi's chest began to rumble. "Try now."

 

   Narukami, across from him, hadn't torn his eyes away the entire time Yosuke had been moving Nagi. The demand made him snap from his daze, and he hesitantly reached out again towards the cat.  

 

   This time, relaxed in Yosuke’s arms, Nagi didn't put up a fight when Narukami's hand began to comb through her fur. Seeing them now, the idol had strong looking hands; flat palms and long fingers. Glancing up, the man was entirely taken with Nagi. Since he had gotten a bit closer to pet her, Yosuke could now see his features even better. There was a faded line-shaped scar on one of his cheeks, right under the cheekbone, and his lips were pulled back in a full blown grin. He had a dimple on one side.

 

   Thinking back, Yosuke recalled the music videos and pictures he had seen of Narukami. All side-long stares and smirks, monotone outfits, always looking completely composed and somewhat as if he was planning something. _A casanova with a dimple._ He thought humorously.

 

    "What's your name?" Narukami questioned through his cooing at the cat, who now seemed to be falling asleep as he pet her. Yosuke wasn't sure if Nagi thought that was _him_ petting her, but at least his idea had worked.

 

   "Her---uh--" Yosuke drawled absently, "I named her Nagi."

 

   This seemed to send Narukami into another bout of admiration; his other hand coming to rub at the cat's other fluffy cheek. "Nagi!" He seemed overjoyed, "that's adorable!"

 

  "I just sort of...came up with it." _That was a lie._ Yosuke suddenly began to wonder how Izanagi was; they hadn't talked much that day, and Yosuke had been too preoccupied to notice until now.

 

  "I _did_ mean you, though."

 

  The man holding the cat stopped, thoughts of Izanagi subsiding temporarily as he was addressed. Eyes flickering from looking down at Nagi's content expression, he realized Narukami was looking directly at him.

 

 "Wha---you--" His face became even hotter, and he hoped that Narukami would believe that the nippy breeze was the culprit, " _me?"_

 

  "If that's alright."

 

  Yosuke shook his head quickly, unable to move his occupied hands, "That's--fine! I mean--I just---" The calm stare didn't falter from him, he exhaled the air he had inhaled rapidly in his surprise, "Hanamura." He gave in, "Yosuke Hanamura."

 

  "Nice to meet you, Yosuke Hanamura."

 

  Was he the only one in this interaction that was on edge? Getting a good look at Narukami's smile, then Nagi's sleeping expression as he continued to pet her; he was pretty sure he _was._

 

 "Little shocked to meet you, Narukami." Yosuke confessed, feeling awfully unaware as to how to react to his situation.

 

  "Seta."

 

 "What?" He blinked owlishly.

 

 The idol rubbed a piece of Nagi's long fur between his fingers, "Narukami is a stage name. I'm not working right now." His voice was coated with a calmness Yosuke envied, "My name is Souji Seta, actually."

 

  Yosuke could only manage a simple "ah" in acknowledgement, shoulders drawing in closer to make himself smaller.

 

 "I'm still recovering from that all." Narukami, no, Souji, admitted; moving his hand from Nagi in order to push his bangs up out of his face. "Just seeing a musician sitting out by the river at night, playing music to a _cat,_ it was something you would expect to see in a movie." A good natured smile crossed his face, "you looked like some Romeo serenading a Juliet."

 

    His comment made Yosuke snort, a fraction of his embarrassment melting away instantly. "Yeah right," he instinctively scoffed, eyes rolling, "You sort of _need_ a Juliet to be a Romeo."

 

 "Romeo exists even if Juliet doesn't, you know." Souji replied simply, "I mean, technically he'd be better off if she didn't. Not dead. There's always Rosaline as well."

 

 "Didn't Rosaline become a nun?"

 

 "There's no churches nearby."

 

 Yosuke pointed in one direction, "There's a shrine."

 

  "Oh?" A thoughtful look crossed Souji's face, as if he was taking that into account. Then he shrugged, "Well, I don't think many people are dying to become shrine maidens."

 

  Yosuke couldn't argue with that, and somehow the exchange made a desire to laugh swell in his chest. If he had been told a few weeks back that he would eventually be sitting in the Inaba grass next to the idol that he had been terribly jealous of talking about classic English literature; he would have probably short circuited in disbelief.

 

  Then something caught his attention, the conversation rewinding as one word jumped out and seized his attention. A new feeling swelled in his chest, a mix between confusion and some incredibly warm, tingling force.

 

 "Wait, did you call me a _musician_?" Disbelief was likely plastered across his face, if it had any reflection of how he was feeling.

 

   Souji raised an eyebrow, nodding at his guitar; "isn't that what you are?" Innocence laden in his voice, he seemed just as genuinely confused as Yosuke was.

 

 "Hardly."

 

  "You're certainly better than me."

 

  Surprise flooded Yosuke instantly, he stared gaping at the other. "What?!" He cried, voice breaking enough to jarr Nagi from her peaceful nap. "Dude, you've _gotta_ be kidding me!" The calico in his grasp blinked, she seemed to notice the hand petting her was in fact _not_ Yosuke’s and subsequently swatted at it angrily. Souji yanked his hand away to avoid the assault, and Yosuke instinctively pulled the cat closer to his chest.

 

   "Its true." He lamented, obviously more distraught over the loss of cat time than focused on Yosuke's shock. "I mean, I...well I'm pretty bad with instruments. I don't think there's any of them I can play for the life of me."

 

   _Ah, that makes sense._ There was a hint of disappointment in the thought that entered Yosuke's mind. It was easy to compliment someone when you didn't know, to call someone a musician when you yourself didn't play any instruments. Souji's 'musician' and Yosuke's 'musician' was different, the former was singing and dancing his way to fame; Yosuke was just some _loser_ strumming an old guitar to a cat.

 

  The man wondered why he suddenly cared so much about a comment made by the idol he had been so annoyed with lately. Was it the prospect of validation? Yosuke bit his cheek; he couldn't chase validation, it only ended in a spiral of disappointment after all.

 

  "Rise isn't good with instruments either really. We can put together melodies and lyrics and---" Souji paused, as if thinking; "oh, but she knows her way around one of those launchpad keyboards pretty well."

 

 Rise? Yosuke suspected that was referring to Risette; which was surprisingly close to Rise. _Why the hell is his stage name Narukami?_ The question formed in his head, spilled to his tongue; but died there when he noticed the expectant eyes of the other man on him.

 

 "Did…" Yosuke bleated, "did you ask me something?"

 

 "No," Souji responded, smiling, "I was just wondering if _you_ were gonna ask something. You had that look."

 

  Yosuke turned red, suddenly realizing he had been being scrutinized. His fingers threaded through Nagi's thick fur; the calico extended her neck to meet the underside of his chin with it. The purring vibrating her chest felt like it was somehow grounding him. He _had_ wanted to ask a question but…

 

  "Why are you here?" That wasn't the one, but one nonetheless.

 

  Souji's dimple appeared once again as he gave a well intentioned smile, "the cat, and the music of course--"

 

   "No, I mean-" Hesitance overtook him for a second, worried; as he had cut him off without thinking. "I mean. The boonies. In _Inaba_ of all places."

 

   An expression crossed Souji's face, just a spark of something Yosuke couldn't explain; before his smile returned. The look seemed like one that held a thousand stories, a hundred worries, and a dozen secrets. Yosuke wondered if he had tredded on sensitive territory.

 

  Then Souji leaned over and pulled up the hem of his pants to show off a bit more of the brace on his ankle. In the dark he could vaguely see something scribbled on one side of it; but in the limited light and with how a majority of it was covered by his pants still, he couldn't make out what it was. He brushed it off.

 

  "I sprained my ankle pretty badly, it's still healing." Souji stated, a tone of exasperation accompanying his words. "I can't dance with it, so we decided to go on a vacation." Yosuke opened his mouth to ask for clarification as to _why_ Inaba; but he seemed to read his mind. "We also have family around here, Rise's grandparents…"

 

  That struck him as a surprise, hearing that some old couple in this town were the grandparents of Risette, _and_ that he had never heard rumors of this beforehand.

 

 His mind drifted to Izanagi, recalling his ankle as well. Nagi purred, "my friend hurt his ankle too, said that shit sucks." Yosuke couldn't imagine what it was like for Souji, an _idol,_ to be unable to dance of all things. Had that been the cause of that expression?

 

 "Oh it does. I feel for your friend." Souji shook his head, "the first few days I wasn't even allowed to get up without help."

 

   "Didn't you run here?"

 

   "Yeah, I'm not doing myself any favors."

 

  A chuckle escaped Yosuke's lips on instinct, a smile tugging at his features. He wondered, albeit distractedly, about how Izanagi had been doing with his ankle. He had seemed so humorous about it, immediately using it as an opportunity to tease Yosuke. Although, Izanagi was always taking _every_ opportunity to tease Yosuke.

 

   It had never occurred to him, but Izanagi really did tease him a lot. If it had been anyone else, Yosuke realized he would have shrunk away from such a person in an instant. If there was something Yosuke hated more than anything, it was being made fun of. But...it was Izanagi. That made it different, that made it _okay._

 

  He shook his head, shaking the thought from his mind. Souji was occupying himself with fiddling with his brace, adjusting the straps of it; and Yosuke quickly checked his phone. Nothing from who he wanted to talk to.

 

  Lord, it was way past midnight now.

 

 "I should go--" Yosuke abruptly declared, placing Nagi down on the grass. Souji threw the cat a sidelong stare, still obviously wanting to pet her; but stood up regardless. The brown haired man snatched up his guitar and slung it over his shoulder, "wait, can you get back on your own?"

 

  Souji looked at him and blinked, adjusting his robe a bit. "I'll be fine," he assured him, another gentle look crossing his face. "Thank you though, Hanamura."

 

  Hearing his name fall from the lips of the idol Narukami of all people felt incredibly foreign and strange, but he nodded quickly in return. Nagi stretched at his feet, then scampered off into the nearby bushes.

 

  "This town is pretty small," Souji commented as he climbed the slight incline, he glanced back at Yosuke; giving one more bright dimple faced smile, "so let's meet again soon."

 

   Yosuke blinked in surprise, "ah--" he pulled a blank under the silver gaze. "Y...Yeah."

 

 "You'll have to play me a song next time!" Souji waved cheerfully, before turning away and heading in the direction of the Amagi Inn.

 

  Left alone, Yosuke could feel the electric shock that had been sending his nerves haywire slowly dissipating. He felt slightly listless, shellshocked, but not _bad._ Something in his chest was swelling, repeating the word 'musician' over and over in his head.

 

  The weight of his guitar hung on his shoulders, now heavier than the surprise of his chance meeting. A strange pride was filling him, even despite how he had interpreted the silver haired idol prior to their interaction. Of all the people that would run into an up and coming idol in the sticks, it had been him. Someone out there would surely been jealous of him, had they known.

 

   Snapping from his trance, the man began jogging up the incline towards home. The desire to sleep was starting to weigh on him as the adrenaline of the meeting was waning, yet the desire to talk to Izanagi was welling with every second.

 

   _I'll keep getting better._ He decided as he rushed home. _So_ _that I'll be able to tell Izanagi I really AM a musician._

 

  Even if it was ridiculous, even if he chickened out; he was sure of one thing. He wanted _Izanagi_ to be the one to call him a musician.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this chapter "Yosuke-describes-a-cute-boy-for-a-concerning-amount-of-time." 
> 
> Also, thank each and everyone of you for your sweet comments and kudos! Seeing you all comment, even the simplest ones, make my day and I LOVE hearing feedback! 
> 
> You all have truly made this story something that I love and care about a lot, thank you all again and again! <3 <3 <3


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